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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Coincidence/Synchronicity

Coincidence and synchroncity have played a huge role in my life, and at times have even been quite frightening, the mind/thoughts can become fearful when it can't understand how something has happened. It wants to box and categorize it and make it into something learnable.

The more comfortable I become with not understanding how and why things happen the less fearful they become.

Last night I had a dream that coincided pretty closely with the recent events in my life. I wasn't any one specific person in the dream and it was 4 characters that I was (although not me as I think of myself) sort of looking out of and on to each other...like an inside view out as each played their parts.

The characters were a husband/father (who was a bit of an uptight stressed out and a bit angry man). There was the mother (a bit flakey, scared she had cancer and liked to write in journals). A son (who was autistic). And the daughter (who was a snoop and scared to be alone).

So in this one scene they are all (except the mother) in the master bedroom, the kids are on the floor and the father is pacing back and forth and I am looking out of the son's eyes (in that moment) at the dad and the son is seeing that his dad is very frustrated almost to a rage with something the son has done and wants to scream at him and hurt him. But the son is somehow able to look out of his dad's eyes and has a great realization. The son says to the dad in his Autistic way..."Dad you know why you don't hurt me?"  "Why?" says the dad.   "Because you love yourself...if you didn't and saw yourself in me then you would destroy me, but because you love yourself you cannot hurt me because you see yourself in me."  And the Dad heard him as the boy said it and saw himself in his son and realized that he did love himself through his son.

Meanwhile, the daughter is reading her mother's journal and blurts out "mom is going to kill herself because she has cancer!" and then looks at the date and sees it is way in the past and her mom is alive and the daughter intuitively knows her mother does not have cancer and they go to find her in the Garden releasing ladybugs.

It's not exactly how the dream went cause it's been a few hours and is fading from memory. However, I woke up feeling somehow changed and a bit scared of the realizations from this dream until reading something my Teacher has written many times. "Let the world be."

Which in this case is let the mind/thoughts not understand.

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