FINDING A PIECE OF TRUTH

"Finding a Piece of Truth"
March 10, 2013

Q&A from a Philosophy Class at College of the Siskiyous, Weed, CA.

One day Mara, the Evil One, was travelling through the villages of India with his attendants. He saw a man doing walking meditation whose face was lit up on wonder. The man had just discovered something on the ground in front of him. Mara’s attendant asked what that was and Mara replied, “A piece of truth.”

“Doesn’t this bother you when someone finds a piece of truth, O Evil One?” his attendant asked. “No,” Mara replied. “Right after this, they usually make a belief out of it.”

This has been a funny scenario for me and even saying that is similarly funny, because there is no “me.”  But since there has been a learning, since apparent birth that there is a “me,” then it can be quite challenging at times to see that there is not.  It is truly all a matter of what the attention is on, whether it is a presumed “me,” or on the Stillness that one is In.

How does that relate to the above Zen Teaching, because “me” is the belief and even saying “no me” creates a belief.  So one’s hands are tied in a sense to being able to share anything about truth.  However, one can continually point and this is Known to work because “I” have been continually pointed and one might say “well who has been continually pointed?” and you might smile or you might frown … it depends on whether you are going to try and figure it out or whether you will direct the attention towards who you Are.

Words are like a balloon around air and you can use the example of Air being Truth … without the balloon/words … there would only be Truth/Air that includes all thoughts/balloons.

One of the funny things that have come to “me” to do (in a sense but not really) is to find ways to point … just like the Zen Teachers … all pointing must be away from understanding and yet it is understand that leads the Student to the Teaching … so eventually the Student must begin to see that although their understanding led them to the Teacher/Pointer, their understanding is now the block to the Teaching.

This is what surrender is … that the Teacher knows you because the Teacher knows theirSelf and all things that come from the Teacher (no matter how you interpret to understand them) are for the Self, to steer you (in a sense) away from who you thought you were, to the Awareness of who you Are.

So the Zen Teaching above is perfect in that the minute you think “ah ha I got it” is the instant it is gone.  Who would get it?  “Who?” is the wind blowing through your ears and the answer to all questions.  Who?  :o)

THE MOMENT

"The Tinnitus of Memory" by Peter Van Straten

When people have "rules" or "solid ideas" about how something is supposed to be, then how it actually is ... is overlooked.

You can stop right this moment.  Just Stop.  Close your eyes.  That needs no preparation to do right?  If you just did it … you see that you didn't have to plan or prepare for it ... you just STOP.

This can be in any instant that one does it ... it does not have to be long or short it is just a momentary pause ... a relaxation into what always IZ … without all the ideas of what will or is supposed to happen ... happening just happens.

You don't need a mindset, effort or concentration. Just Stop.  Just Stop and close your eyes.  Then when you open them you are coming from THAT space ... that Stopping.

You also don't have to close your eyes ... in any moment you can just stop and be aware of the moment you are in.

SILENCE (MEDITATION)

February 16, 2013

One of the things that can be rare in this world is being Silent.  It used to be more common, there were longer pauses between words in conversations and the movies of old had fewer words, more innuendos. 

Though drawn to things that are of a quieter nature, that doesn’t mean that there is internal quiet.  Many times there is such gratitude that will arise for having designated times for Meditation.  Without Meditation there would be few stops/pauses during the day to put the attention on Silence/Stillness.  It is not that it isn’t always there, it is, however; the attention will be on what is going on in the world, schoolwork, thoughts about everything and anything under the sun.  And then there is a stopping that comes with Meditation, things slow down and the attention is drawn towards what doesn’t move.  The things of the world, all the problems seem to fall to the side and are not important.  As one arises from Meditation, those things re-appear yet don’t have the energy or strong pull towards them that was there prior to Meditation.

Recently, things have gotten busier, especially this week.  Yesterday a neighbor offered up a ride on his dirt bike.  We left shortly before Meditation time and when we got to the back roads it was time to sit.  Mentioned that there would be no speaking during the next half hour.  Usually, it is looked at with a strange sort of “umm ok?”  Which it was and so off on the bike we went.  There is a gift in Silence that unless one checks it out, cannot be shared. 

A Red-Tailed (Chicken Hawk) Hawk flew directly over us; which was amazing and the trees were brilliant, and the smells of Spring were in the air, there was the sounds of water running from the creek and the sky was brilliantly blue.  There were moments of fear/excitement that would arise from the sense of not having control.  The bike slid on some ice and we fell and since we were going slow, there are just bruises, but there was no ability to complain and without outward complaining, inward complaining doesn’t last long.

We dust ourselves off and picked up the bike and sat and ate some lunch.  There was listening to the stories that were shared and watching as the food is eaten and there is a sense of ease with not speaking that is not there when one is thinking of what it is they would be saying.  It is just listening and experiencing what is actually going on.

Though the preference here is to sit Silently (to not be active during a designated Mediation time), one does not have to sit somewhere alone to be Silent, you can set aside a time, at anytime to do it.  Though I would suggest that one set aside the time to sit silently in Meditation as a way to begin quieting the mind and then move into a “walking or active” Meditation, only because the impetus to speak will be very strong in the beginning and so it is best for one to begin to sit quietly with eyes closed and allow all distractions to be there and to sit in spite of the distractions.

Many times when people are around during Meditation time, they think that they must be quiet, but that is not the case, the noise is welcome, because where the attention is … is Stillness/Silence and so all noises and activity around are welcomed in it.  If you demand that the world be a certain way for you to sit in Meditation, you will not ever sit in Meditation. 

You just sit, Silently, sit and watch until the thoughts and activities exhaust themselves.

Ultimately, one will find that all of their life is in Silence/Stillness/Meditation, yet this isn’t seen while the attention is on the thoughts, actions.  So first things first … one leads into the other.

SUICIDE

February 11, 2013

This morning during Meditation the topic came up to write about suicide.  This is not an easy topic to talk about, well it is easy to talk about but maybe it is not so easy to hear, we shall see.  Today is the anniversary of my significant other, of nine years, Mark’s death.  It is not surprising that this would be a topic of discussion, but it is surprising in that it showed up.

All “suicide” stems from one thing.  Suicide stems from the belief in the “I” thought.  Without an “I” there is no one that would commit suicide.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that “I” don’t know how powerful thoughts can be.  Have attempted suicide on a few occasions and do know how dark it can get and how strong a belief can become.  So this is not about belittling the power of the mind.  Instead let’s shed some LIGHT on it. 

Let’s take this slowly if we can. 

Thoughts of suicide appear when one is paying attention to thoughts and not who they ARE.  You are not a thought, if you were, you couldn’t pay attention to it … you would be it.  So when someone attempts suicide it is because they have placed all the attention on a “thought” and in turn created it into a belief and then believe the “belief” is true.  It is always something about a past or future that cannot be changed but is not let go of.  The person imagines something about themselves and/or the circumstance they “think” they are in and see no way out, but how could one, you have to be alive to see it.  Suicide wouldn’t exist if everyone would just wait to see what happens, instead of just assuming they know what will happen.

Let’s look at an example of how a “thought” becomes a “belief.”  Let’s use warts (heh) as an example.  If you have ever had a Plantar’s Wart, you know that it starts out small (like a thought) and then over time it gets harder (like when you keep paying attention to a thought) and then eventually it is so hard that you have to get it cut out or nitrogen to remove it (a belief becomes solidly believed and suicide seems the only option). 

So if you can see this … if you can see the thought become solid and believed in, then you also can see that the undoing of the belief is the undoing of Suicide. 

One does not have to kill the “I” thought or any thought and killing the body will not kill the “I” thought, because the “I” thought is not the body. 

How sucky will it be if you kill the body (thinking it is you) only to come to find out that you weren’t the body and now you are without a body but still *think* you exist.  There is a good book on this, it is not the Truth, but it is a good pointer and can be helpful in seeing things from a different perspective.  It is called “Stephen Lives.”

It writing is not about killing the “I” thought, it is about beginning to see that it is not real. 

Only you can stop paying attention to the thoughts, the quickest way to begin doing this is to look and see who is watching the thoughts. 

You can’t be the thought if you are watching the thought, so who is watching? 

This will take some practice because you have been watching the thoughts for so long, you believe them to be true. 

Look how strong beliefs are; if we didn’t have them, there would be no war, there would be nothing to fight over, if you didn’t believe there was something to fight over.  And how do you begin to see that there is nothing to fight over, by beginning to STOP and take a look, honest look around you and see if anything that you believe or are thinking, is actually happening, or are you just “thinking” about it. 

If you are just “thinking” about it then it is not real, it is your imagination and you must wait and see what shows up.  Stop assuming you know what is going to happen, you don’t. 

Begin to start waiting to see what will happen, you might be pleasantly surprised.

If you are having thoughts about suicide and how awful everything is, you may want to at first, get some help with the emotional part of it, that can be assisted by certain medications and am not saying that everyone should be medicated (you actually do not need it … but it can be helpful in the beginning - just to get you to a place where you can begin to see that thoughts are not real). 

There are benefits to medication as well as some awful side-effects, so watch yourself, make a plan not to be on them for very long and do the work.  Self-investigate.  Do this with the question “Who am I?” and write down everything that comes up.  If it is something that you can change or alter then it is not who you are, do a process of elimination until there is nothing left (no beliefs about who you are, all that is left is who you Are, without beliefs).

Continue to bring yourself/attention back to the moment you are IN.  Not the one you are “thinking” about, the one right in front of your face.

Please feel free to write privately.

There is also a movie called “The Bridge” (that is a link to the full movie) that can be watched online by clicking that link, it is well done and can offer, again, some insights.

JEALOUSY

Wiki says:  “Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust.”

Recently the word "jealousy" has been appearing along with the thoughts to write something about it, so that maybe something could be seen.  In the picture above with the eggs, there is a look on the one eggs face that may imply that it is mad that the other two eggs are together, or maybe it is upset that they are resting and it is not, or that they look content and it is not.  The underlying thing of jealousy is that someone or something has what you don't and that you want it.

The quickest way to see jealousy without having to change it, is to see that there has to be a "you" to have the emotion "jealousy" without the "you" jealousy is just an emotion that is labeled.  And to take it a step further, emotions are just energy; like a wave that rises and falls (one doesn't try to change a wave, but many try to change emotions, instead of just letting them be until they subside).  

So jealousy can be great tool for watching emotions rise and fall without doing anything about them.  To just have them.  And it can be a great tool in the seeing that there is no "you" to be jealous, for when the depth of this realization comes, you will laugh that you were always and only jealous of your own self. That might be a big jump but let's look, if you find that there is no "you (no individual you)" then you begin to realize at the same time, that it is the same for everyone and that the "sameness" that animates the appearance of "you" is the "same" in everyone.  In this seeing, or just Knowing, you don't have to see it, because in the world it appears as if we are all different and separate, but that is only because the attention is on the "world" and not what the world appears "IN."  That doesn't mean that you might not still feel the emotion as real, but you will know who you are jealous of; and in That Recognition once again rest in yourSelf.

Jealousy usually appears when there is either a fear of loss, that something you have or want will go to someone else, and it also appears when one does not feel adequate enough to retain what one has.   So the goal of this writing, if there is one, is to help the reader begin to use jealousy, when it arises, as a way to bring the attention back to theirSelf, instead of projecting it outwards.  You can use any example of jealousy. I just had one the other day and it was with my own child.  We both took a motorcycle class, we both drove bikes for two days, we were tested on our riding abilities and on our studies.  He passed both tests with flying colors and rave reviews from the instructor. I on the other hand did not pass the written test and just barely passed the driving.  He was thrilled, as was I for him, and yet at the same time, the feelings arose of not being good enough, that my son was better than me, that I was not good at anything in life, that I was a failure (Now you can look at all those sentences and see that if you remove the word "I/me" then all that are there are thoughts and feelings, but with no one to place them on they would just rise and fall, but with an "I" they stay around because they have someone/something to stick too.)  The more one can begin to see the "I" thought as an illusion, the less energy and intensity emotions have.  The gift in this jealousy arising was the opportunity to once again see that it takes an "I/me" to keep it alive and without it, life just happens and moves on.  It only stays (the emotion) if it is kept fed with the "I/me" thoughts.

This might be challenging to point to, but with no separation, with no "I/me" in either the form of my son or myself, there is just one thing going on ... in seemingly two forms, one getting a license and one not getting a license but that doesn't separate Self from Self.  Just like the one writing this and you reading this are in the same Self, that doesn't change that the writer writes this and the reader reads it, even though it is only One receiver/giver, appearing as more than one, yet only one and even less than one.  It is quite challenging to point to the simplicity of "Less than One."  And one might say, well who are you pointing this out too ... if there is only one...less than one ... myself :o)

So self :o)  When jealousy arises the next time and it will cause this is the training ground for remembering who you Are.  When it arises, possibly begin to see that it takes an "I" to be jealous and so you could begin by asking "Who am I" that is jealous.  You also could look at what you are afraid of losing and why you must hold on to it so tightly, if it is trying to get away and you could offer it release from your grasp.  (Which includes beliefs about yourself ... like the example above ... the willingness to let go of the belief in the "I/me" thought, drops all the beliefs and who would want to hold on to beliefs like the ones above?)

You could also look at the "other" that you are jealous of and KNOW without understanding...that it is yourSELF in another form that is receiving it, and therefore, what would you keep from yourSelf?  This may not ease your discomfort but if you are coming from the space of WHO YOU ARE then it will, but if you are coming from the space of "who you think you are" then it can be quite challenging to see and let go.  So begin to place the attention on "who you are" by discovering who you are.  When you hear the words "I/me" begin to allow the possibility that it is a lie and all thoughts that attach to it are also lies.