SAME SELF

(Q&A from a Philosophy Class at College of the Siskiyous)

1. With billions of people on this planet, so many different selves, how could it be possible that they are all one self?

First one has to let go of all apparent "others," including who they think they are.  When that is dissolved, then what remains?  How do you express to one that thinks they exist, that without the personality, there is no one there, that there is actual emptiness there and only emptiness there and yet the word emptiness has to be dissolved also, because emptiness is also a lie, just like the personality is.  If you tell someone that they are no-thing at all, they will still go looking for something, because they think they are something … it is nearly a futile work, to attempt to share with another that there is only one, because even saying one "implies that there are more than one, so it is actually less than Zero.  Zero, no-thing is aware.  It is what is looking out of your eyes.  It is silent and still, it does not move and yet it sees everything.  It has been and is aware of you, it is closer than your own breath and it moves and animates you, you who are reading this, are just a thought that appears in front of the Self.  Who wants to hear that they have misidentified themselves as a thought?  Well apparently you do, or you wouldn't be reading this.

2.  What makes a Self?

Nothing, no-thing, makes a Self.  You are in Self, Self IS, it cannot be made from things in this world.  Self just IS and the mind, you that are reading this, think in terms of time and so you cannot understand something that has no beginning and no end.  Yet that is how it is with Self, no beginning, no end, no time, nothing to attach to.  As you relax and let go of understanding, you will know this, not from understanding but from Knowing.  This is guaranteed but you can not use the mind to verify it, the mind will begin to assist you in not using it, once you realize that you can't in this domain, but this does take quite a bit of willingness to stop trying to figure everything out and sit back, smile and enjoy the ride.  Your help is not needed here that is the good news.  Less help = more Awareness.  :o)  Though if you insist on helping then sit quietly whenever possible, give yourself time to sit without moving, fixing, doing and ask the question, "Who am I?" and sit and wait as the thoughts tell you who you are, and do not accept them as true or false, just let them come and watch them go, that is a good practice/help for the mind.

3. Do the characteristics that distinguish one self from another come from the self, or from beyond the self?

"All is the Self."  There are not two, there is only one thing going on, one movement that appears as if it is many movements, but that is only because you are not aware of the screen that the movement appears on.  Take a digital picture and then zoom in and in, you will see it becomes more and more pixelated until you get to nothing, no-thing at all.  When you can no longer visually see or understand what you are looking at, then draw back out you begin to see all the little squares pull back together to make an image before you that you recognize, but they are not separate they are all one thing in the picture, one picture that appears separated by edges and color that blur as you zoom in, it is not different than the world, universe, body, which will become more apparent with 3-D animation.  This is not said to lessen life or the beauty and the magic of it's creation.  The wise will pay the attention to the "no-thing" that you are, do not waste the time trying to figure out how the world is not real, spend the time investigating who you are.  Spend the time asking the question, "Who am I?" for the real Gift of Seeing.

4. Is the self without restrictions still self, or would it not better be called God? 

Restrictions are for this world there is no restriction that can be placed upon the Self because the self is not in this world; the world is in it.  If there is to be restriction, there will be.  There is no need to worry or concern oneself with how things will be in this world, if you know you are always in the perfect moment, because you are.  So one just begins to see that, beyond what the mind/thoughts say, if you can look around and see that you have everything that you need to be in the moment you are in, then you can stop lying to yourself about how things have to change for you to be happy or whatever it is that you think you want to be different. 

 

GIVING TO GET...

If you do something and think you should get something in return, what you will probably get is angry (see angry smilie...which is perfect because one who gives to get smiles but is seething with anger).

Doing to get, always leads to anger because you have an expectation of return and expectations usually lead to disappointment which also leads to anger.  

If you just begin to do things, just for the sake of doing them, not to get something, not for someone to owe you something, but just for the simplicity of doing/giving (which is all we truly do anyway, we just do what we do), without an expectation of return then we get the gift of giving without the return of disappointment and anger.  You give and let go.  You don't sit there with a sheet of paper that says "I did this for so and so and I did that for that," if you do...what will add up at the and of your tally will be  a lot of anger and disappointment for all the things you feel are owed to you that haven't been repaid.  

Anger and disappointment can be seen as a Gift, because anger and disappointment have led you to reading these words which will now lead you to watch yourself and see...

When you do something, do you expect that something good will happen to you because you did it?  Do you think that person owes you something because you did something for them?  If you look at these questions and see, be honest with yourself and see ... are you doing to get something in return?  Do you have a tally of what you think people and life owes you?  If you do...you will miss the many other ways that life comes and gives to you, maybe not how you wanted, but gives you exactly what you need, and that may very well be a lot of anger and disappointment until you see what you are holding against others.  

No one owes you anything, and you do not owe anyone.

HOLDING ONTO THE PAST...

(Click photo for Steven Walters' Music or 

here for the song "Nothing Less Than Everything.")

If you are holding onto things from the past that have hurt you or scared you or left you not liking someone or even hating someone, you are carrying that energy with you everywhere you go and you hold it against that other and they have it weighing on them wherever they are.  It has been said "Better to clean out your spiritual Home than to clean your physical one."  ~The Mother  What she is sharing is that as we become Clear and Clean on the inside, the outside of our life begins to reflect this clarity also.

One of the ways to begin to clean your spiritual home is to let go of the past.  That you look at the people and things and experiences that you have been carrying ... just close your eyes and look and see ... is there someone I still don't like, that I want to hold something against, and not just someone but something or some action or some experience that you keep replaying in your mind that is unresolved, be willing to begin to see and hold it more lightly.  

Sometimes it helps to see a person that you are angry with, as a child, if you have a child picture that person as if they are your child and see if you still wish to carry that anger.  It doesn't matter who it is or how old they are, just allow them to be a child and whatever action you are angry about that they did, see if you can seem them this little child and whether you would still hold it against them like you have been doing.  This isn't just healing for you, it is healing for them, we are all connected and what you give to another you give to yourself and visa-versa.

This does not mean that you do not remember the past, because when the past comes up, it is actually in your present so it is not the past, but it is there for you to look at or it wouldn't be coming up.  Look at it, see what it is asking of you and see if you are willing to give it.  Then let go, or it will just go, you will see.  Your life and the lives around you will become Lighter because of your willingness to heal.  To Clear and Clean your True Home, first.

Namaste (That which is in me, bows to That which is in you).

DYING WHILE BEING BORN...

(click here or on photo for Break on Through)

Sometimes the personality has a very quick death, like with Ramana Maharishi, his personal identity died and he Birthed into Awakening at a very young age.  Or sometimes and for many (see A Personal Odyssey Wayne Austin) the process is gradual and there is a life with much trials and tribulations.  What once was a Curse, at another time will be seen as a Gift.  Yearning, anger, depression, frustrations are all calls from yourSelf to know yourSelf.  When things are good, often the call isn’t Heard, but when things are considered not good, then one begins to listen, and once one begins to listen, what was at one time considered  “not good” becomes the “Great Gift.”

As the personality dies and the Truth of Who You Are is being Born, the one thing that lightens the load in Life and Death, is that you begin to realize that you don’t care.  All remnants of personal “will” (which wasn’t anyway) are dissolved as the Truth grows that you didn’t have a personal “will” anyway.  How will you know when this begins to happen, you SMILE more and frown less.  The attention has now been shifted to what doesn’t move, what doesn’t change, what is constant before time, during time and after time.  This does not mean that life will become easier, though it might, it may become harder, you just won’t care (SMILE).  And that doesn’t mean that the body will not still react, it will do what it does, yet you, the one that you “thought” you are … won’t care.  It is a simple shift from thinking one is the “doer” to Realizing one is the Witness.

So if you are lucky, like this one, there was not ever too much love of the personality, which eventually came as quite a surprising Gift, for had the personality been loved and admired (which it can be once it is seen for what it is), it may not have been moved past through.  And yet it has still been a very gradual process.  Depression, anxiety, mood swings, instability, yearning and longing, all came as a tremendous Gift (though that does not mean it was easy).  All of it was/is used to push one back into itSelf. 

Once your attention is on That (That which you are IN), life still happens, all the same things that have always happened to you, may still occur, but now you face these situations, from where you have always been, you are already dead, you know where everyone is going, because everyone is already there, whether they know it or not.  All the things that you once thought were obstacles are now seen as the pointers to the Truth of You.  You see through Child’s Eyes and it is all a mystery, the attention gets placed on That, you are no longer seeking safety in the world, because your safety is no longer in the world, it is in/on THAT which the world appears in.  So…

You may find yourSelf in a great mansion or homeless on the street.

You may find yourSelf rich or penniless, with not very much to eat.

You may find family and friends all around you, or that you don’t have a single one.

You may find that you accomplish so much or that you get nothing done.

You may find that you are genius or that you cannot do simple math.

You may find yourSelf in a great depression or on a chosen path.

You may find success or failure;

You may find marriage or divorce.

You may find yourSelf driving fast cars or riding on a horse.

You may find the birth of a child or the death of one you hold dear.

You may find yourSelf while laughing or while shedding pain-filled tears.

You may find yourSelf in struggle, you may find yourSelf in war, you may find yourSelf travelling upon a distant shore.

You may find yourSelf a homemaker; you may find yourSelf behind a desk.

You may find yourSelf in the city, or the country, or forest.

But you will no longer care where you are, where you are going or what you will be, because you have found yourSelf and in THAT you are forever Free.

REJECTION

Everyone likes the “good” feelings, but the ones that are not so good “feeling” like rejection are quickly moved away from (if not by most than at least it has been the experience here) that when a feeling that isn’t “good” appears there is a moving (in a sense) away from it.  But lately the focus has been on “staying a little longer in the un-comfortableness.” 

Rejection is one that makes movement away from the un-comfortableness.  It seems heart-breaking to be rejected right?  Like when the feeling of rejection comes up, it is as if it is a personal attack on the character, that we aren’t good enough or what we are so proud of isn’t good enough, some variation of not good enough.  However, rejection also comes to serve as a great gift, if one allows it.  Nothing teaches quicker than a broken heart and the deepest teaching comes from not attempting to repair it, but allowing it to be broken.  And rejection can be a darn good heart-breaker. 

Not fixing a broken heart goes against the grain of conditioning to do that, however the grain of conditioning is one of making a hard shell so that one doesn’t get hurt, where as, allowing the heart break of rejection and disappointment, keeps the heart open and raw.  Yes, it is tender and yes it does hurt for some time, but it is alive, it is not hardened in a box and dead, afraid of what might come and attack its fortess.

Rejection also reveals the depth of an attachment to something.  The more rejection stings, the more you are able to see that you are holding on to something and that it may not be serving to hold on.  Maybe you are holding on to a belief that isn’t serving you, a person or a product a dogma.  If you really believe in something, like beyond belief, then rejection has very little power.  But if you are doubtful or not sure of something and someone rejects what you come to them with, then it or you will fall apart.  But if what you are coming towards one with is fully alive in you, without doubt, without question, than rejection doesn’t mean anything.  You are not out to prove anything, you are just being how you are being and bringing that into the world and if it is accepted great and if not that is okay too.

Recently, a rejection made something more obvious, something that has been many times overlooked but rejection allowed for the possibility to see it in another way.  There is an example called “Finger Waving” from the Primer.  It is when the attention is placed on the object over what the object is in.  Let’s use the domain of Truth, if one were attempting to convince another that they are IN Truth and the person hearing it didn’t believe what was being said, and rejected it as a possibility, but the one that was sharing it was not grounded (in a sense) in their Knowing, they may attempt to go on  to convince the other that it is true.  However, one that Knows that it is True, is not attempting to convince anyone of how things Are, that would be silly :o)  They have the attention not on the finger (person or rejection) but on what it all appears IN and in that there is no one to convince of anything or reject or take personal. 

It has taken a long, long time for the Knowing of the “finger waving” to appear.  For a long time, there were just attempts to understand it and waving it in front of the face and why wont this work, what is being pointed too?  However, once you grasp that the finger is in IT and the gaze can be placed upon it in any moment, the world is the finger, the universe is the finger, but the attention can easily, once it is Seen, be placed upon what all that appears IN.  It doesn’t mean that rejection still wont hurt, but it is allowed to hurt, or one is willing to be hurt, while the attention is placed on what “hurt” appears IN.

“Be willing to have your heart broken, again and again and again.”  ~Wayne Austin

THINKING ...

My Teacher used to say to me “And that’s a thought.”  When I would come to him with all these thoughts that seemed so important and it would stun me momentarily.  Sometimes I would wonder how he could say that to the important information that was going to impact my life and the lives around me and he could be so calm and although he would listen to my plight, he would eventually again point to me and say “And that’s a thought too.”  And he would smile and I would frown and stomp away wondering “what have I done wrong that I don’t see” (not seeing that that was just a thought too). 

He did this for many years, I would come to him again and again with problem after problem and in his infinite patience, he would listen or he would do whatever the moment called for which sometimes was a scolding or a praise, there was not a time, even to this day that I could predict what he would/will do, but that is another of His Great Teachings.  Many times I would go thinking I would get a praising, only to hear I had done something wrong, and then other times thinking I would get the scolding of my life, only to find him praising me for something I had done.  This over time became the blessed teaching of “not knowing.”  

Which leads to the title of today “Thinking.”  Thinking is knowing, even if you don’t know ... you think you can know by thinking.  But thinking is not real…it is not part of reality.  See these words come on the screen by the fingers not by thinking.  This is not always easy for one to see, for like I shared above, I knocked on my Teachers door with question after question and problem after problem, until one day the draw to Stillness became the Answer.  Even in moments now there is “thinking” and there is thinking that there was/is an answer and there is …but the answer is in Stillness/Silence. 

Now that can be even more infuriating to the mind that wishes to know reasons and answers for all things … to hear that they are all answered in Stillness, is to negate the “mind/thoughts.”  Again it all boils down to a frown or a smile, sometimes even a laugh or a punch in the face…depends on how serious one is in knowing answers. 

Since life is just happening and all you get to do is watch it, then living with unanswered questions is actually the gift.  To let things be as they are and watch as them appear is the gift and the answers do come, not in your time or your way, but naturally they appear.  Recently, a Friend of mine said she stays informed on my life through the writings I send her, and I wrote that I was annoyed because how do I stay informed on her life when I don’t receive any writings from her.  Then lo’ and behold, she appears on the street the very next day sharing with me what is going on in her life.  (((Smiles)))

Be willing to be surprised.  I know sometimes it doesn’t seem easy to do … especially since the thoughts usually say you know what is going to happen and it’s not going to be good.  But see how silly it is to think that you know the answer and that the answer “isn’t going to be good” wouldn’t it just be better to wait and see ... if the alternative is shitty anyway :o)

All you have to do is look at that your life has worked out perfectly this far, you are reading this right now and all is well right :o)  Even if you are thinking it is not LOL!