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Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

JEALOUSY



Wiki says:  “Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust.”

Recently the word "jealousy" has been appearing along with the thoughts to write something about it, so that maybe something could be seen.  In the picture above with the eggs, there is a look on the one eggs face that may imply that it is mad that the other two eggs are together, or maybe it is upset that they are resting and it is not, or that they look content and it is not.  The underlying thing of jealousy is that someone or something has what you don't and that you want it.

The quickest way to see jealousy without having to change it, is to see that there has to be a "you" to have the emotion "jealousy" without the "you" jealousy is just an emotion that is labeled.  And to take it a step further, emotions are just energy; like a wave that rises and falls (one doesn't try to change a wave, but many try to change emotions, instead of just letting them be until they subside).  


So jealousy can be great tool for watching emotions rise and fall without doing anything about them.  To just have them.  And it can be a great tool in the seeing that there is no "you" to be jealous, for when the depth of this realization comes, you will laugh that you were always and only jealous of your own self. That might be a big jump but let's look, if you find that there is no "you (no individual you)" then you begin to realize at the same time, that it is the same for everyone and that the "sameness" that animates the appearance of "you" is the "same" in everyone.  In this seeing, or just Knowing, you don't have to see it, because in the world it appears as if we are all different and separate, but that is only because the attention is on the "world" and not what the world appears "IN."  That doesn't mean that you might not still feel the emotion as real, but you will know who you are jealous of; and in That Recognition once again rest in yourSelf.


Jealousy usually appears when there is either a fear of loss, that something you have or want will go to someone else, and it also appears when one does not feel adequate enough to retain what one has.   So the goal of this writing, if there is one, is to help the reader begin to use jealousy, when it arises, as a way to bring the attention back to theirSelf, instead of projecting it outwards.  You can use any example of jealousy. I just had one the other day and it was with my own child.  We both took a motorcycle class, we both drove bikes for two days, we were tested on our riding abilities and on our studies.  He passed both tests with flying colors and rave reviews from the instructor. I on the other hand did not pass the written test and just barely passed the driving.  He was thrilled, as was I for him, and yet at the same time, the feelings arose of not being good enough, that my son was better than me, that I was not good at anything in life, that I was a failure (Now you can look at all those sentences and see that if you remove the word "I/me" then all that are there are thoughts and feelings, but with no one to place them on they would just rise and fall, but with an "I" they stay around because they have someone/something to stick too.)  The more one can begin to see the "I" thought as an illusion, the less energy and intensity emotions have.  The gift in this jealousy arising was the opportunity to once again see that it takes an "I/me" to keep it alive and without it, life just happens and moves on.  It only stays (the emotion) if it is kept fed with the "I/me" thoughts.


This might be challenging to point to, but with no separation, with no "I/me" in either the form of my son or myself, there is just one thing going on ... in seemingly two forms, one getting a license and one not getting a license but that doesn't separate Self from Self.  Just like the one writing this and you reading this are in the same Self, that doesn't change that the writer writes this and the reader reads it, even though it is only One receiver/giver, appearing as more than one, yet only one and even less than one.  It is quite challenging to point to the simplicity of "Less than One."  And one might say, well who are you pointing this out too ... if there is only one...less than one ... myself :o)


So self :o)  When jealousy arises the next time and it will cause this is the training ground for remembering who you Are.  When it arises, possibly begin to see that it takes an "I" to be jealous and so you could begin by asking "Who am I" that is jealous.  You also could look at what you are afraid of losing and why you must hold on to it so tightly, if it is trying to get away and you could offer it release from your grasp.  (Which includes beliefs about yourself ... like the example above ... the willingness to let go of the belief in the "I/me" thought, drops all the beliefs and who would want to hold on to beliefs like the ones above?)

You could also look at the "other" that you are jealous of and KNOW without understanding...that it is yourSELF in another form that is receiving it, and therefore, what would you keep from yourSelf?  This may not ease your discomfort but if you are coming from the space of WHO YOU ARE then it will, but if you are coming from the space of "who you think you are" then it can be quite challenging to see and let go.  So begin to place the attention on "who you are" by discovering who you are.  When you hear the words "I/me" begin to allow the possibility that it is a lie and all thoughts that attach to it are also lies.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Only Love Remains



If one takes an honest look at the past, 
everything you currently see will disappear.

Life has a way of recycling itself so that one day
even humans will be extinct 
and something else will be in its place.

All the books and all the teachings, learning, experiences 
are all written on water.
What you are reading right now 
will one day be washed away 
along with everything else.

But what Remains...

has always been

Always IS.

It is what has no opposite, 
one can call it Love, 
but it matters not what you call it 
because even words will eventually be washed away.

It is Here now and you don't need anything to Know it.
If you recognize that everything you have relied upon to find it 
are all things that can and will be taken away

Then ... when everything one relies upon is gone.
What Remains.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

DREAMS...


At night when we dream, people show up for us, friends, family, love ones we have lost, animals, stories, dramas...everything shows up in a dream for you to play in.  Have you ever had a dream that was as real as if you were awake?  Have you ever had a dream where you were in a different body?  Ever dream you were an animal, that you could fly, that you had powers you don't seem to have in waking life?  Have you ever wondered how all of these things appear for you?

Let's say that you see your friend in a dream, did they actually appear for you or did you create them?  If they just appear for you, where did they come from and if you created them how did you do that and simultaneously play out both the parts?  Is it possible that you are playing out all the parts in the dreams you have?  If not, who is playing them?  If so, how can you be everyone?

This is where if one is paying attention, something can be Revealed or Seen.  Because that last question if you are willing to look at the question deeply, you will begin to see that you have misidentified yourself.  Not only in dreams but in waking life.  If you look and can see the possibility that you are playing everyone in your dream, then who is the real you?  To be everyone in the dream ... you also have to be "dreamt."  

                    Who's Dreaming?

If you take the position that you are not playing all the parts, then who are they that have shown up for you, where do they come from and where do they go to when you wake?  As in your dreams, so is life, these same questions one can ask of dreaming one can ask of life.  Is there a possibility in you that you are being Dreamt, just as everyone that appears for you?  Remember the dreams that you have had that seemed so real it took some time after waking to Realize it was just a dream?  Such a similarity may appear for you in Life and it will appear for you upon Death which is the waking from the Dream of "Life."  That is why this simple question of "Who Am I?" is so significant because you do not need to wait for Death to find out who you are...who is actually Dreaming all of it.  The one thing that can be shared with you...is that it is not who you think it is.



                            "May all Beings awaken to itSelf."

Sunday, May 13, 2012

FREESTYLE


So the eyes are closed and the fingers are just pressing on the keys and we will see what comes.  Freesytle...this is the word that showed up to write about and then I googled the word "Freestyle" and this picture was one of the first on the screen and since I grew up loving graffiti and taggers it was perfect :o)

I wasn't thinking of graffiti when I started out...I was actually just thinking that I was wondering what would come out of these fingers if I just started typing...and here we are.  It is empty inside of here right now...very quiet.  Breathing is slow and eyes are closed and tired.  I am waiting for a video to upload to youtube and have had a bit of a challenging day as I am packing and waited till the last minute to put together a Mothers' Day card and that didn't work anyway cause my printer will not connect to my laptop for some reason...very frustrating and so I dropped the card idea nad wrote a poem and video recorded it but then the recorder has this beeping sound in it and the file saved too large and I couldn't get the beep out but I did shrink the file and now it is uploading so that took a bit of patience.  And during all of that this calm/emptiness has just been here all through it...sometime there is not attention paid to what does't call attention to it.  But luckily for some reason this life time has not allowed me to sleep for long and it finds ways to constantly remind this "thought" that I think I am...to look  towards what cannot be thought.  Therein lies Peace.

It used to be that I was dependent on the peace of the world...I was always looking for quiet or searching for a space to be alone in and life did grant those things for periods of time and now noise is welcome too...because the Peace that is in me...isn't dependent on the outside world to do anything.  Everything can be as it is and Peace is there...even in the worst of moments Peace is here.

I've been meaning to get over to the suicide newsgroup.  I was on it years ago many many years ago and met some really great people over there.  Maybe I will let them know that death isn't necessary for Peace...well bodily death isn't necessary...however the death of who you think you are...is necessary for you to begin to have cracks in the thoughts...cracks big enough to Know Peace.

You're cracked enough or you wouldn't be here.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

MOOOVING


Recently, I have been asked to move. I live in a remote setting and do not often see people in the physical form.

Fears have come up...all of them having to do with "I." Like "where will I go?" What if "I" cannot find a place "I" can afford? Why is this happening to "me?" Fear, protection, survival mode, will appear when the thought "I" feels threatened. Thoughts and feelings (especially ones of fear) feed off of each other.

When fear is seen as a lie (because it stems from the thought "I"), which we are beginning to see as the Ultimate and only lie <---sit with this a minute.

"I is a lie."
~Harrold the Aligator

You are becoming trained enough to know that when you hear "I/me" in the thoughts, that you are telling yourself a lie and it can always be verified with the questioning of yourself in asking "Who am I?"

So, after the fear subsides, and one finds oneself looking in the classifieds for a place and you get in your car and drive down the road...you may begin to notice that you aren't actually getting anywhere. That the world is coming towards you ... you are not going towards the world. MyTeacher gave a great example once of the screensaver you used to find on like Windows98 where the stars are coming towards you but you are just sitting and looking at the screen that has been such a Gift in seeing and experiencing beyond the intellect that one doesn't actually mooove :o)

Another good example of this is is Rumi a 1200 century mystic Sufi Poet:

“Keep walking, though there's no place to get to. Don't try to see through the distances. That's not for human beings. Move within, but don't move the way fear makes you move.”
~Rumi

(Special Thanks to Coleman Barks and the many others that have continued to bring Rumi's life to Light):





So each place I stopped at I began to get deeper and deeper hits that I am always in the same place. The faces and pictures may change...but verything is getting more familiar...not like I have been here before but that I am always Here :o) Now.

No matter where "I" move, I am always in the same Place, which is no place...I mentioned to my Friend this morning that (an this anaology has been used before but is a good enough one to repeat) we are in a car (the body) and we are sitting in the back seat and being driven all around but when we look to see who is driving there is no one there, yet the car still moves and we are just watching/Witnessing and with the realization of no driver the question comes again "Who's Driving" which can at first bring fear but not much if you realize also that just because you just found out you are not driving...it has always been this way and as such you are taken care of...you can Trust the Driver because you are proof that the Driver knows where it is going...so you relax sit back and now ask..."well if I am not driving...then Who Am I?" :o)))))

You may find yourself trying to figure it out...and if you can, remember to be kind to yourself...this is the one domain where being an idiot is the Gift and intelligence is the Block. You are not driving...that is the Good News...Relax like you would when you were a child and your parents took you somewhere in the car...you didn't worry about where you were going, or how long it took to get there, sometimes you would just doze off and wake up and find yourself at the beach or the park or the pool and you would rub your eyes and jump out of the car and play...this is how it still is now...the only difference is that you are finding out that your Parents are in the back seat with you.

Ok after all that driving around ...we again come to the place where we find out that we have not ever driven anywhere and that there is no driver and now we are finding that we have actually not ever moved and that the appearance of driving into the sunset...is actually the sunset driving into us. Wow that's something...You are what the world is moving towards.

Who I am...cannot be anywhere other than where it is and it is Still, unmoving. There is no where in the world you can go to get away from It because you and everything in the Universe...is in It (and it's not an It).

It (not it :o) is always Home and in that, whereever you find yourself...you are at Home. So each moment is just each moment...there is nothing new happening and yet everything is brand new and the more accepting of Paradox you become the easier and lighter life is...but you cannot do it...all you can do is see the Paradox and not engage with how it is. Paradoxes are not for solving they are for relaxing the minds grip on knowing anything.

Paradox is the Ultimate Gift to the mind.
~The Happy Idiot




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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Coincidence/Synchronicity

Coincidence and synchroncity have played a huge role in my life, and at times have even been quite frightening, the mind/thoughts can become fearful when it can't understand how something has happened. It wants to box and categorize it and make it into something learnable.

The more comfortable I become with not understanding how and why things happen the less fearful they become.

Last night I had a dream that coincided pretty closely with the recent events in my life. I wasn't any one specific person in the dream and it was 4 characters that I was (although not me as I think of myself) sort of looking out of and on to each other...like an inside view out as each played their parts.

The characters were a husband/father (who was a bit of an uptight stressed out and a bit angry man). There was the mother (a bit flakey, scared she had cancer and liked to write in journals). A son (who was autistic). And the daughter (who was a snoop and scared to be alone).

So in this one scene they are all (except the mother) in the master bedroom, the kids are on the floor and the father is pacing back and forth and I am looking out of the son's eyes (in that moment) at the dad and the son is seeing that his dad is very frustrated almost to a rage with something the son has done and wants to scream at him and hurt him. But the son is somehow able to look out of his dad's eyes and has a great realization. The son says to the dad in his Autistic way..."Dad you know why you don't hurt me?"  "Why?" says the dad.   "Because you love yourself...if you didn't and saw yourself in me then you would destroy me, but because you love yourself you cannot hurt me because you see yourself in me."  And the Dad heard him as the boy said it and saw himself in his son and realized that he did love himself through his son.

Meanwhile, the daughter is reading her mother's journal and blurts out "mom is going to kill herself because she has cancer!" and then looks at the date and sees it is way in the past and her mom is alive and the daughter intuitively knows her mother does not have cancer and they go to find her in the Garden releasing ladybugs.

It's not exactly how the dream went cause it's been a few hours and is fading from memory. However, I woke up feeling somehow changed and a bit scared of the realizations from this dream until reading something my Teacher has written many times. "Let the world be."

Which in this case is let the mind/thoughts not understand.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

TIME AND THE "I" THOUGHT



This morning the thought appeared "there is no you."  Took a look and was like wow … yes there is emptiness here and was able to see something that is being pointed too.  As a kid two things seemed very strange to me that everyone else agreed was absolutely real.  One is "time" and the other are "words." With a child's mind everything is much more simple and the simplicity pointed to the obviousness that both "time" and "words" were man-made.  From that realization it has formed to what can now be shared (seemingly) many, many years later with a more educated way of saying it (though not much more,  heh).

So, what was seen is that if one said the word "car" (was in one at the time) over an over again … it begins to lose it's meaning.  Without knowing it's meaning it could have meant anything …  as long as someone else agreed that whatever it was named it is what it is … however … and … just because something is "named" doesn't make it what the name is  (like humans).  That was what was revealed about words … the seeing that they are only "real" because we agree with others that certain sounds represent what we see with our eyes.

Then there was time … this took more time (heh) to grasp.  It was actually more of a wondering of "how could time be real?"   This image appeared of just space (not even that really) but just this vast Emptiness and then a grid is laid upon that Emptiness and it is called "time" but there really is no "time" or another way of saying it is … it is only and forever  Now.  



Time (the grid) is just another man-made thing that we all have agreed upon.  So "time"  is the grid that is laid on Emptiness/Space ... that drove the investigation even deeper.  A question arose "what is the universe laid on? ... what is behind the universe?"  Well the Gift was/is received and there is no word for what was/is Revealed ... could call it … Light or Energy, Brightness,  Emptiness, Space, Stillness (see picture above for vague concept the yellow is the backdrop or the screen that all appears on)...but it's not really that … what is before time and before words and before bodies and before the Universe and is right Now forever Now … it is Everything and everything is in IT … it animates everything and yet is not an IT (obsoletely indescribable).

So that created a bit of a freak out for a good 10 years … with bouts of paranoia that still arise (don't underestimate the power of beliefs).  However, the Universe and Time (don't say this to a scientist that hasn't dug all the way through) do not actually exist.  Which brings us back to the original thought that appeared this morning "there is no you."

Thoughts are just like the grid above and like words, they aren't actually there … go ahead and look for a thought … see if you can make one appear ... perhaps they are just echoes in "time."  (Cosmic Joke.)

Most things that are written here on this site/blog you will have to investigate for yourself.  All these hands can do is type and point ... but no one could have looked for me (well actually there was no one that actually looked) ... but that is a bit advanced in unlearning … until you begin to see that you have believed in something that isn't ... just like Santa Claus.

Most people would not find any of this helpful … but one will.   ;o)


Friday, December 31, 2004

The Game


How about looking at life like a computer game...

The game reveals to you ways to keep the game going like clues that lead you places in the game...keep you entranced and feeling like you are getting somewhere in the game...cause in a way you are...you get to go to the next level if you crack certain challenges...that's what challenges in a computer game do...but they don't really get you anywhere...your still sitting in your chair playing a game as if you have accomplished something...but that is the prize that is overlooked...you win in the game sure...but the Player...You...have not moved nor gained anything that wasn't there before you started playing.

If you've ever played a computer game...you first of all know...that everything that you are going to do in the game has already been set up for you and done...tested by its Creator and signed and sealed...in a sense the game is already over before you start playing and there is nothing you can do about that...but knowing this doesn't make you any better or less for playing...you bought the game to play it.

One of my favorites games for a while was Grand Theft Auto Vice City...good graphics...you can sort of feel like you are driving the car around in the game...good music...so I played for hours...watched my friends and family play and watched them use cheat codes to get all this extra cool stuff that is hidden in the game.... used information that is in the game to "seemingly" get places and win points...and this to me is such a good example of looking at life...cause it is set up to look like our so-called reality and is such a cool pointer as to see that maybe life as we think it is...how real we think it is...really isn't what we think it is...

A way to say this right now...is this body is a Joystick (no pun intend) :o) and You are playing a game but you don't have any real choices...cause it's all already set up...your choices are limited to the game. There aren't any real levels even though in this world it looks like their are...it keeps it entertaining.

Well if I had a point in typing it I am beginning to forget now.

Oh Yes...

You are already Awake and no one can tell you that (even though I just did)...no one can make you believe it (it's beyond belief) You know it...whether you resist, deny or preach It...It IZ.

Signed, sealed and delivered :o)))) 
~Joysters