Friday, November 29, 2013



March 13, 2013


In a world where there is instantaneous everything, for most, living with unanswered questions can be a beginning step in the discovery of who you are.  Many may ask the question “who am I?”  And then like with all things of the world, expect an immediate answer and not only immediate, but one that is completely understood and explainable.  However, this is not the domain or way of the Truth of who you Are.  Even this writing will mislead you. 

The way of the Truth of Who you Are, is filled with twists and turns and paradox, inconsistencies and incongruent (ness), hypocrisy and ludicrousness.    It is not a straight road … except it is.  How do you tell someone you are on a road tonowhere (now here)?  You don’t, but your life being lived will reflect it and those that are paying attention will begin to see through you, that it is true. 

So next time you need an answer to anything that comes up, take a pause, don’t be so quick to find the answer.  See if you can hold out and see whether or not the answer shows up in a way you could not have predicted.  This is the fun of beginning to See.  You begin to See that everything you have ever needed shows up.  You only overlook it when you are searching for the answer, you don’t get to see all the many ways it comes … because you are looking for something specific.  

When you put your search down for an answer, it allows for all possibilities to that question to arise … it’s like opening a box and then just leaving it open … not looking inside, just leaving it open, you might even begin to allow the possibility that you don’t even know what a box is … this is not becoming an idiot, it is seeing that we have labeled everything to the point that we actually don’t know what anything is, we just assume we do because it has a label … that is actually being an idiot as opposed to allowing for not knowing. 

So just for today, be the box with the open top and allow that you don’t know who or what you are, but you are interested.  And wait and see.


"Hey Jealousy"
March 12, 2013

(click image for song "Hey Jealousy")
Wiki says:  "Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust."
Recently the word "jealousy" has been appearing along with the thoughts to write something about it, so that maybe something could be seen.  In the picture above with the eggs, there is a look on the one eggs face that may imply that it is mad that the other two eggs are together, or maybe it is upset that they are resting and it is not, or that they look content and it is not.  The underlying thing of jealousy is that someone or something has what you don't and that you want it.

The quickest way to see jealousy without having to change it, is to see that there has to be a story about "you" to have the emotion labeled "jealousy" without the "you" story … jealousy is just an emotion that is labeled.    And to take it a step further, emotions are just energy; like a wave that rises and falls (one doesn't try to change a wave, but many try to change emotions, instead of just letting them be until they subside).
So jealousy can be great tool for watching emotions rise and fall without doing anything about them.  To just have them.  And it can be a great tool in the seeing that there is no "you" to be jealous, for when the depth of this realization comes, you will laugh that you were always and only jealous of your own self. That might be a big jump but let's look, if you find that there is no "you (no individual you)" then you begin to realize at the same time, that it is the same for everyone and that the "sameness" that annimates the appearance of "you" is the "same" in everyone.  In this seeing, or just Knowing, you don't have to see it, because in the world it appears as if we are all different and separate, but that is only because the attention is on the "world" and not what the world appears "IN."  That doesn't mean that you might not still feel the emotion as real, but you will know who you are jealous of; and in That Recognition once again rest in yourSelf.

Jealousy usually appears when there is either a fear of loss, that something you have or want will go to someone else, and it also appears when one does not feel adequate enough to retain what one has.   So the goal of this writing, if there is one, is to help the reader begin to use jealousy, when it arises, as a way to bring the attention back to theirSelf, instead of projecting it outwards.  You can use any example of jealousy. I just had one the other day and it was with my own child.  We both took a motorcycle class, we both drove bikes for two days, we were tested on our riding abilities and on our studies.  He passed both tests with flying colors and rave reviews from the instructor. I on the other hand did not pass the written test and just barely passed the driving.  He was thrilled, as was I for him, and yet at the same time, the feelings arose of not being good enough, that my son was better than me, that I was not good at anything in life, that I was a failure (Now you can look at all those sentences and see that if you remove the word "I/me" then all that are there are thoughts and feelings, but with no one to place them on they would just rise and fall, but with an "I" they stay around because they have someone/something to stick too.)  The more one can begin to see the "I" thought as an illusion, the less energy and intensity emotions have.  The gift in this jealousy arising was the opportunity to once again see that it takes an "I/me" to keep it alive and without it, life just happens and moves on.  It only stays (the emotion) if it is kept fed with the "I/me" thoughts.

This might be challenging to point to, but with no separation, with no "I/me" in either the form of my son or myself, there is just one thing going on ... in seemingly two forms, one getting a license and one not getting a license but that doesn't separate Self from Self.  Just like the one writing this and you reading this are in the same Self, that doesn't change that the writer writes this and the reader reads it, even though it is only One receiver/giver, appearing as more than one, yet only one and even less than one.  It is quite challenging to point to the simplicity of "Less than One."  And one might say, well who are you pointing this out too ... if there is only one...less than one ... myself :o)

So self :o)  When jealousy arises the next time and it will cause this is the training ground for remembering who you Are.  When it arises, possibly begin to see that it takes an "I" to be jealous and so you could begin by asking "Who am I" that is jealous.  You also could look at what you are afraid of losing and why you must hold on to it so tightly, if it is trying to get away and you could offer it release from your grasp.  (Which includes beliefs about yourself ... like the example above ... the willingness to let go of the belief in the "I/me" thought, drops all the beliefs and who would want to hold on to beliefs like the ones above?)

You could also look at the "other" that you are jealous of and KNOW without understanding...that it is yourSELF in another form that is receiving it, and therefore, what would you keep from yourSelf?  This may not ease your discomfort but if you are coming from the space of WHO YOU ARE then it will, but if you are coming from the space of "who you think you are" then it can be quite challenging to see and let go.  So begin to place the attention on "who you are" by discovering who you are.  When you hear the words "I/me" begin to allow the possiblity that it is a lie and all thoughts that attach to it are also lies.


November 29, 2013


"There is nothing you
about the way things are
but sit back and 
wait and see 
how you will be
a part 
of the unfoldment
of the things
that you will want to see
when you stop
trying what you kando
and just simply …


"Finding a Piece of Truth"
March 10, 2013

Q&A from a Philosophy Class at College of the Siskiyous, Weed, CA.

One day Mara, the Evil One, was travelling through the villages of India with his attendants. He saw a man doing walking meditation whose face was lit up on wonder. The man had just discovered something on the ground in front of him. Mara’s attendant asked what that was and Mara replied, “A piece of truth.”

“Doesn’t this bother you when someone finds a piece of truth, O Evil One?” his attendant asked. “No,” Mara replied. “Right after this, they usually make a belief out of it.”

This has been a funny scenario for me and even saying that is similarly funny, because there is no “me.”  But since there has been a learning, since apparent birth that there is a “me,” then it can be quite challenging at times to see that there is not.  It is truly all a matter of what the attention is on, whether it is a presumed “me,” or on the Stillness that one is In.

How does that relate to the above Zen Teaching, because “me” is the belief and even saying “no me” creates a belief.  So one’s hands are tied in a sense to being able to share anything about truth.  However, one can continually point and this is Known to work because “I” have been continually pointed and one might say “well who has been continually pointed?” and you might smile or you might frown … it depends on whether you are going to try and figure it out or whether you will direct the attention towards who you Are.

Words are like a balloon around air and you can use the example of Air being Truth … without the balloon/words … there would only be Truth/Air that includes all thoughts/balloons.

One of the funny things that have come to “me” to do (in a sense but not really) is to find ways to point … just like the Zen Teachers … all pointing must be away from understanding and yet it is understand that leads the Student to the Teaching … so eventually the Student must begin to see that although their understanding led them to the Teacher/Pointer, their understanding is now the block to the Teaching.

This is what surrender is … that the Teacher knows you because the Teacher knows theirSelf and all things that come from the Teacher (no matter how you interpret to understand them) are for the Self, to steer you (in a sense) away from who you thought you were, to the Awareness of who you Are.

So the Zen Teaching above is perfect in that the minute you think “ah ha I got it” is the instant it is gone.  Who would get it?  “Who?” is the wind blowing through your ears and the answer to all questions.  Who?  :o)


"Who Is Reborn?"
March 7, 2013

From a Humanities Class at College of the Siskiyous, Weed, CA.

Student writes:

The module describes the bodhisattva as “one who has renounced nirvana for himself and takes a vow to postpone his own entering into nirvana in order to help all other sentient beings to reach it first.  For their sakes, he consented to be born again and again into the Round of Samsara, until, in the course of innumerable ages, even the grass and the dust has attained Buddhahood.”


What stands out in your quote above, is the overlooking of something quite simple and yet quite major.

                                              "Who is reborn?"

One might be quick to say "the Buddha" and that is what the mind/thoughts will attempt to make you focus on because that is something that can be known.

The mind/thoughts "believe" that it is a "man" named "buddha" but it keeps one from overlooking …

                                             "Who is reborn?"

It is not a man ... it is you ... the TRUE YOU ... you are BUDDHA nature but the mind/thoughts will not want you to see this because if you do, you will have nothing to search for and then the mind loses it's power and becomes the Servant to the HEART/BUDDHA/INDESCRIBABLE TRUE NATURE\EMPTINESS.

                                   All sentient beings are in BUDDHA.

This is the simplicity that is too simple for the mind, which thrives and stays alive on complexity.  However, as one begins to stop using the mind/thoughts to understand ... TRUE NATURE appears.  The mind finally sits back in a recliner with its feet up after a long exhausting journey. The mind (who you think you are) must begin to relax back into the recliner to begin to SEE who you TRULY ARE.  All the talking about it will only lead you away from what you are IN.

Once you have discovered what you are In ... then Speak from that Space ... that Emptiness.

Saturday, November 23, 2013


"The Tinnitus of Memory" by Peter Van Straten

When people have "rules" or "solid ideas" about how something is supposed to be, then how it actually is ... is overlooked.

You can stop right this moment.  Just Stop.  Close your eyes.  That needs no preparation to do right?  If you just did it … you see that you didn't have to plan or prepare for it ... you just STOP.

This can be in any instant that one does it ... it does not have to be long or short it is just a momentary pause ... a relaxation into what always IZ … without all the ideas of what will or is supposed to happen ... happening just happens.

You don't need a mindset, effort or concentration. Just Stop.  Just Stop and close your eyes.  Then when you open them you are coming from THAT space ... that Stopping.

You also don't have to close your eyes ... in any moment you can just stop and be aware of the moment you are in.

Friday, November 22, 2013


"God The Organic" by Peter Van Straten

The following is a Q&A from a Humanities class taken at College of the Siskiyous in Weed, CA.

HUMANITIES Question:  Elucidate the link between meditation and spirituality. Why are spiritual disciplines, of which meditation is one, so often deemed necessary for spiritual development? How might meditation affect one’s thinking and sense of self?

In Truth there is no separation between Meditation and Spirituality, however, how it is being worded, or how it seems the question is asked, is as if they are separate. 

To have a link means that something isn’t connected.  However, the practice of Meditation, can reveal that all of life is in Stillness, that there is no separation, that there is only One (“Less than one because even the word one implies two.” ~Wayne Austin.)

The practice of Meditation is useful in quieting the mind enough for it to realize what it is in, and ultimately, to realize that there is no such thing as “mind.” 

If the practice of Meditation is to show up in your life than that is the tool that is used to point that one in the direction of itSelf.  However, Meditation is not the only tool, one can Awaken to theirSelf in any situation, “Truth uses whatever is available to reveal itSelf.” ~Wayne Austin. 

For the one typing this, Meditation was the tool used to place the crack in reality, however, in looking back there were many things, events, like using Mescaline as a teenager before the mind had become too rigid with beliefs, so many things had revealed about the world and how it is not how it appears.

Things that are frowned upon in the mainstream society - for this one were the exact things that came/showed up to open this one.  So if you find that the things that have opened your mind are not things you are able to casually talk about, you are not alone.  There are various different ways it will and can happen if it is supposed to happen.  No one can do anything to make Awakening happen, but what Awakening requires for it to happen, will.

So when one says “Awakening,” that is the same as saying “Spiritual.”  The Spiritual Awakening will happen and there is really nothing to do about it, your reading this is part of it, just like everything that shows up in what you call “your” life is all in the direction of Awakening to the Self.  It doesn’t matter where you are on the planet, what you do for a living (or don’t do) what music you listen to or make or what movies you watch, whether you like sports or don’t, whether you are in jail or a Caribbean island, when it is time for your Awakening, you will Awaken and it will not be like anything you thought.

After the Awakening here, during a quick 15 minute Meditation on a lunch break from work, it was so frightening that all practice of Mediation was stopped for almost 6 years, for fear of what had happened.  The “mind” could not grasp it’s undoing so quickly and what was the most beautiful thing that can possibly be offered was turned and flipped into something that one spent years running from. 

Why would one run from theirSelf?

Because the thoughts about who one is, are so solidly believed in, that the Truth of who they are seems too Big, too Beautiful and too Brilliant to be True.  

So the crack may show up for some and frighten them, some it happens to in Meditation, some in near death experiences, some hanging over a toilet in a drunken stupor, or as a mundane as writing a check, but if you have found that something happened that you cannot explain, but frightened you because you did not understand and didn’t know where to go or who to talk to, then know that Truth is kind, it is ruthless and brutal in its Wake, but it is kind in it’s unfolding and the undoing of what you have thought will begin to happen and those that will help to reveal it to you will show up. 

It’s like an earthquake and then everyone comes to clean up the rubble, except we are not rebuilding a “new” you.  What is cleaned up is removed and you are left with what you have always been.  What was there before you were born, what was there looking out of your eyes when you were a baby and didn’t have an “I” thought and it is what you are right now, before the thoughts “I am.”  It is there and it is not an it and it lives through the mask that is you until the mask drops and is left on the floor (whether that is in life or as you discard the body through death one way or another the mask comes off).

Nothing is wasted, so practice Meditation, but do it knowing that you already are whatever it is that you are attempting to be.  Begin to pay attention to the Stillness that everything appears in, as often as possible, continually be vigilant and redirect the attention back onto Stillness.  As this becomes a way of life, will begin to see that all of Life appears in Meditation.


Thursday, November 21, 2013

Emptiness ...

Recently, there was some time spent with a person that exuded emptiness.  When it was mentioned to this person, they did not seem to be aware of it and even seemed slightly intimidated by the mention of it.  Yet it was noticeably there, in that moment, the person was empty of theirself, of thoughts, of noise and activity. 
There was just this strong presence of Still/Emptiness.
This morning during Meditation, this Emptiness was quite apparent during the first few minutes and the thought appeared to write about it and also to see if one could point towards it.  There is a song by Dave Matthews called “The Space Between” and it showed up as a way to point.  The lyrics point towards the Stillness/Emptiness between actions, between words, between thoughts and that is what is hiding waiting for you. 
When the song stops, that is the Emptiness, that moment between sound and no sound, the Emptiness is there between the thoughts, when there is a pause.   The longer the pauses/stop … the more awareness of the Emptiness that one is in. 
Between our words is the Emptiness and yet everything appears in the Emptiness, but it is overlooked because the attention is on the thoughts, the sounds, the activities.
To be one that is Empty; is not dullness, it is not lifeless, it is absolute complete fullness.  No Space that needs to be filled up with noise and activity and yet all appears in it.
Begin to place the attention on the Space between.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013


February 20, 2013

To do nothing goes against all the conditioning of the world.  When you think you have a problem, to do nothing to solve it would seem strange to most. Yet it is in the “doing” that one doesn’t see that there is no problem.  The doing creates the problem.  If you can sit, even if only momentarily, you will see that there is no problem, it is all in your head.

Doing nothing in the face of life screaming “do something” begins to take the power away from the mind.  From the thoughts that say “things should be some other way.”  If things are meant to be some other way, they will be, wait and see.

All the action to “make something” some other way, is just wasted energy.  Because as you begin to “do nothing” about the thoughts and situations that appear with more regularity, you will find that the only thing you ever did was “think” you could do something, and that was where the energy was wasted.  What you will do, that you do not know, you must, in a sense, train yourself, to wait and see what will happen.

If you are going to “actually” do something it will happen without your assistance.  It seems as if two things are being spoken about here, and in a sense they are.  Because most think that they are the one doing it, that they are the “doing”, so that is who I speak to when I say “you are not doing it” I am speaking to the one that is actually not doing it … but “thinks” it is.

To some this will sound crazy, but to a small few they will begin to pause.  When the whole world or when the mind is screaming “do something.”  They will stop.  Take a look around and see, is this really happening or am I only “thinking” this is happening.  And if they look around and see that there is not much actually going on around them, a smile will appear on their face and they will wait and see what happens next.  Maybe something, maybe nothing, but they are beginning to know that it is not up to them.