Wednesday, May 29, 2013


(Click image for link to Bubble Boy)

In Yoga, Yuko said we were doing a cow face position (see image above) which flashed (for whatever or no reason) to the boy in class next to me (maybe because he had on an In and Out Burger shirt) and it was like we were having an internal dialogue (without verbal words) and it was shared that the reason he sees a cow like any other object is because he does not see his Self ... the Self.   

That if he saw that it is his Self ... the Self and that All is That ... then it may be a different experience then he is currently having, and that Karma would not be anything to even think about because it is not about coming back as a Cow; it is that you and the cow are the same right now.  If you want to know how you will be treated as a cow ... look at how you treat cows, or anything else for that matter.

Then there was a flash to the movie “Bubble Boy” (if you can’t laugh at hypocrisy and ignorance well then don’t watch cause its freaking funny lol!)  He is driving an ice cream truck of all things and that is hilarious, people are great … like whoever thought this up is great.  Laughing at hypocrisy is the quickest way to see it and not become judgmental of it.  If you become judgmental then you overlook your own and the ones that are laughing, see yours.

So right now you are looking at what you are in … everything.  Not you as a personal identity (that is the mis-identification) but you as in YOU in Everything.  Not in a next life.  Right now…you are that cow, you are the tree, you are all things and although you may not be currently experiencing that physically (though you could ... it is possible), in this moment, that does not make it not so.  

Now just watch and see how you treat yourself, without judgment, just be aware of how you are in the world and how you relate to it, and allow the possibility that the same thing (which is not a thing) that animates everyone and everything else … animates you.  Sometimes you may find you treat yourself very poorly and sometimes very well; and everything in between.  

So was that moment actually shared with this young man?  God Knows :o)  But it is now with you (heh!)

  ~The biggest hypocrite ever (Awareness Takes Care of Everything)

Tuesday, May 21, 2013


The Prayer

Yesterday was a strange Meditation (pulled off the side of the road and headed towards where I usually sit when coming back from COS), this time instead of going back where I usually sit, something pulled me to the left … I actually stood there sort of undecided whether to move in that direction, but then did. 

It was a small enclave of greenery under and amazing Oak (I think) tree, there were birds and bugs everywhere … things flying about and I put Pete’s (the dog) blanket down, took off my shoes and sat. 
When I sat down I realized their were ants everywhere tons of them and momentarily got scared that they were red ones and would bite me. 

Something had me stay a bit longer … it said to “trust that all was ok” and since I know the only way to see if what is shared is True is to do it … well that’s what happened and the eyes closed and Meditation began.

It was very quiet at first, and then there were sounds of the insects appearing.  That was paid attention to for a bit and then the deep Silence appeared and was entered into.  Then there was a sound, a sharp sound and a sense of something shadowy or dark in the area.  Again, there was a silent request to not open the eyes and not move but to allow for it to be there. 

It was very scary.

The unknown can be very scary, the mind will come up with all kinds of things that it could be.  It kept sounding like it was coming closer and the thoughts were that it was an animal or a human, because it was very slow moving but felt rather large and there was a desire to know what it was, while at the same time such fear of what it was, because again, the energy was dark and large.

Minute or seconds can seem like hours when you are afraid and don’t know what something is or what is going on or what will happen.  Then the thought appeared that the only way to face fear, is to be willing to let it kill you.  And then flashes of an attack appeared, that it was human and it would attack me, rape me or cut my throat, and at the same time, there was a willingness (in that moment) that if it were so then it was so.  There was no movement away from that happening and yet it did not happen.  Then fear thoughts appeared that it could be an animal and start biting me and ripping the body apart and again there was just sitting through the fear (thoughts/feelings) and the willingness that if that is what is to happen, so be it. 

This may sound easy and simple to the one reading it, but go yourself into the forest, close your eyes with no one around to save you and allow the sounds and sensations to appear and see if you open your eyes, or move to get up.  No one can do these things for you, but when they appear, if you … sit through fear, thoughts, senstaions … a Gift is given that no one but the experience could give you.  Doesn’t make it easy.  And you don’t know what the Gift is so you can’t do it to receive something, you actually do it in a willingness to lose; to die.

Then an ant was on my chest and some kind of bug was crawling up the leg and since there is no movement in Meditation you truly get to feel what that feels like and it tickles; but it doesn’t hurt.  The sense was that if it had been swatted at … it’s buddies would have come and had a field day biting away.  But because it is allow to just wander…it doesn’t stay long and goes on it’s way… which it did. 

The one on the chest however, did eventually bite and it stung, it hurt a bit but not a lot and then it left.  When I had put the blanket down and plopped on the ground, unaware of the surroundings and then looked down and saw all the ants around me some information came through that if I had intended to hurt the ants (that I probably just killed when I plopped down on their world without looking) there would have been a full attack by the ants on this body, but since the energy was one of ignorant innocence, that didn’t happen.

I was also made aware that it is important to Tread Lightly on the sensitive environments that have entire worlds that I cannot understand because at this time there is not an open enough consciousness to know it.  However, becoming aware of other ways and states of being, will begin to open those up in anyone willing to be opened.  This was why there was not a fear of other ants biting, in fact there was a sense that the ant was sharing with me what it would feel like if I wasn’t aware or did attack with intent for harm … that it actually has a very strong bit and if there were many bites (like the one received) it would seriously hurt and they have that ability (right in that moment that it was happening) to hurt me.

So instead of being angry about being bit, there was gratitude for the sharing and explanation of what had seemingly transpired.


Theory cannot work in this regard, one has to do it and it can be done in any moment that uncomfortableness appears or arises.  Usually we want to move away from what is uncomfortable but like the above it has so much to reveal and share with the one that is willing to stay.  The more you stay in the uncomfortableness the less uncomfortable things become…funny huh :o)

Thursday, May 9, 2013


The following is a written Essay for Philosophy where we were asked to share what came up for us while reading the Bhagavad Gita and this is the in response to Chapter Four on Wisdom.

The Bhagavad Gita is written on two levels, one that speaks to the mind and one that speaks to the Heart.  Although, ultimately, there are not two separate things, for the purpose of this writing, we will imagine that there are.  One cannot know why some are “touched” by the Truth, while others seemingly are not.  It does not make one better than the other; only more Aware. 
When one is touched by Truth, the mind begins to be pushed to the backburner.  This is not always a simple process, and depends on how deeply one relies on the mind as its tool to receive information.  If one uses the mind only to process (or release what comes through), then the transition is much smoother because the jump from mind to Heart is not as far.   If one relies on the mind to understand the process, then one begins to go in circles, because the mind cannot understand what it is IN, and all attempts to understand creates a kind of insanity (which then creates fear, and fear; breeds fear). However, it will only go on for as long as one resists and continues the attempt to bring Heart to mind, instead of relaxing mind into Heart.  Sounds simple, and ultimately it is, however, one is wise not to underestimate the power of mind to remain in control (the mind thrives on complexity; and the Heart Reveals itSelf in Simplicity).  The good news is that there are not two separate things (Heart and mind) because the mind is IN the Heart.  One does not have to fear insanity or anything at all; because no matter what, you are always in yourSelf.  However, the cycle of attempting to understand can get out of hand for a while, again depending on whether one begins to accept that they will not ever understand.  If that is the case then one naturally relaxes and lets go of understanding, and begins to Know.  What is the difference between understanding and Knowing (with a capital “K”)?  The difference is that understanding comes from the mind and is something that can be explained and understood by the mind (it is proof of something).  “Knowing” comes from what the mind is IN and is Revealed.  When you “Know” something you do not require proof (you don’t need proof of air to breath and you don’t need proof of knowing; to Know).  Words will not ever explain this, but if you Know or are at least willing to know where you are being pointed, then you will need no words. 
There can be no other way, direction than towards Truth.  Action and in-action are both in Truth. When the Self falls asleep too deeply … it Awakens out of the call through the mind from the Heart.  The dream that one is in is meant to “feel” real.  That is the Gift for Self to experience itself as something “appearing” as other than what it is.  However, when it gets too dark, too serious, a call is sent out to Self, which Awakens itself, and brings the Light unto the world. 
Self is not a person, it does not think, yet all thinking is in it.  It understands everything without understanding, its intelligence is so great that there is no way to comprehend or describe what intelligence even is.  Self is before your own breath, it is beyond anything that can be imagined, because imagining is in Self.  It cannot be used, but it uses everything to reveal itSelf to itself.  It is the only thing that lasts and it is not a thing.  All paradoxes point to it, but will not ever help you to understand it (and IT is not an it).
One does not need to be smart to be wise.  Wisdom is not learned in books or in schooling; it is not something that is taught.  You are born Wise and then it is covered over by ignorance and learning.  Wisdom is available to all who seek it, however it cannot be sought in the world.  The world will lead one away from wisdom, because wisdom is not in the world.  However as one becomes Realized in Wisdom the world then begins to point one back into itSelf.  Prior to that, the world teaches separation and that everyone is an individual.  Wisdom is the discovery that “we” are all ONE (less than One) and the Same and that it is only “in the world” that we appear to be different.  (Talks With Ramana Maharshi, Video.)  
Behind the face, behind the thoughts about who one is, is the Still Wisdom of who you are.  No one can give it to you, however you can use these words as a reminder to begin to look.  To become Wise, you must begin to question everything you believe in, everything that you hold dear, and nothing is held onto more tightly than the thought “I.”  (Austin 31.)
When you are truly ready for Wisdom and Knowledge, you will begin to question who you are.  One does this by asking one simple question and it is the only question one ever need ask, in any situation, it is first person singular, the question; “Who am I?”  Ask it with all sincerity and accept no answer that comes.  Dig and dig and when you tire of digging, dig some more.
Wisdom has no path.  However self-interrogation leads one Home.

Works Cited

 Austin, Wayne, Dialogues with a Master, The Spider, Create Space, Print.
            Austin, Wayne, First There is a Mountain, Who Am I? Really, Create Space, Print.
Cinefx Productions, “Talks With Ramana Maharishi,” Talk 146, Internet Video.
"Who Am I?" A Strategy For Self-Realization." Hinduism Today 30.2 (2008): 52-53. Academic Search Complete. Web. 4 May 2013.

Friday, May 3, 2013


(click here or on photo for Break on Through)

Sometimes the personality has a very quick death, like with Ramana Maharishi, his personal identity died and he Birthed into Awakening at a very young age.  Or sometimes and for many (see A Personal Odyssey Wayne Austin) the process is gradual and there is a life with much trials and tribulations.  What once was a Curse, at another time will be seen as a Gift.  Yearning, anger, depression, frustrations are all calls from yourSelf to know yourSelf.  When things are good, often the call isn’t Heard, but when things are considered not good, then one begins to listen, and once one begins to listen, what was at one time considered  “not good” becomes the “Great Gift.”

As the personality dies and the Truth of Who You Are is being Born, the one thing that lightens the load in Life and Death, is that you begin to realize that you don’t care.  All remnants of personal “will” (which wasn’t anyway) are dissolved as the Truth grows that you didn’t have a personal “will” anyway.  How will you know when this begins to happen, you SMILE more and frown less.  The attention has now been shifted to what doesn’t move, what doesn’t change, what is constant before time, during time and after time.  This does not mean that life will become easier, though it might, it may become harder, you just won’t care (SMILE).  And that doesn’t mean that the body will not still react, it will do what it does, yet you, the one that you “thought” you are … won’t care.  It is a simple shift from thinking one is the “doer” to Realizing one is the Witness.

So if you are lucky, like this one, there was not ever too much love of the personality, which eventually came as quite a surprising Gift, for had the personality been loved and admired (which it can be once it is seen for what it is), it may not have been moved past through.  And yet it has still been a very gradual process.  Depression, anxiety, mood swings, instability, yearning and longing, all came as a tremendous Gift (though that does not mean it was easy).  All of it was/is used to push one back into itSelf. 

Once your attention is on That (That which you are IN), life still happens, all the same things that have always happened to you, may still occur, but now you face these situations, from where you have always been, you are already dead, you know where everyone is going, because everyone is already there, whether they know it or not.  All the things that you once thought were obstacles are now seen as the pointers to the Truth of You.  You see through Child’s Eyes and it is all a mystery, the attention gets placed on That, you are no longer seeking safety in the world, because your safety is no longer in the world, it is in/on THAT which the world appears in.  So…

You may find yourSelf in a great mansion or homeless on the street.

You may find yourSelf rich or penniless, with not very much to eat.

You may find family and friends all around you, or that you don’t have a single one.

You may find that you accomplish so much or that you get nothing done.

You may find that you are genius or that you cannot do simple math.

You may find yourSelf in a great depression or on a chosen path.

You may find success or failure;

You may find marriage or divorce.

You may find yourSelf driving fast cars or riding on a horse.

You may find the birth of a child or the death of one you hold dear.

You may find yourSelf while laughing or while shedding pain-filled tears.

You may find yourSelf in struggle, you may find yourSelf in war, you may find yourSelf travelling upon a distant shore.

You may find yourSelf a homemaker; you may find yourSelf behind a desk.

You may find yourSelf in the city, or the country, or forest.

But you will no longer care where you are, where you are going or what you will be, because you have found yourSelf and in THAT you are forever Free.

Thursday, May 2, 2013


(click image for "NTL MayNewsletter" or here for a Vitamin)

You don't want to underestimate the power of words.  Last night while driving down the road listening to a CD that had been mentioned in the Newsletter there was a bit of cringing at some of the lyrics (it had taken a good 12 full listens ... over the last few months to the CD before the words weren't so harshly heard).  This after having years of training desensitizing to words ... that words have only the meaning we give to them.  That one take personal responsibility for how they hear something.  It is the one hearing it who is responsible for the reaction to the words; not the one saying it.  Like when one looks at a piece of Art, it is not the Artist responsibility to reveal to you what you see or experience, the same came up around this CD.  It would be a wise teaching for children to learn as they are being taught a language, to remember what/who they are before the words/language.  Then the possibility is there or is embedded so that they do not think words/thoughts are who they are, rather words/thoughts are something that has been taught to them so that they can communicate verbally.

Something else was revealed while listening to this CD.  Whether it is known to the artist or not, his pushing the boundaries of this mind to go past the words to hear what they are In and then to hear the words as Music and then to return to the words (meanings) to see the picture being painted is very revealing and this is what one would call Art, when something is able to do this, however one must be willing to have ears to Hear it. 

Again it came up that it is not the words themselves but the energy the words ride upon, so there was a letting go (in a sense) of the meaning (that was thought) about the words and a relaxing into the music of the words, so that the words/lyrics themselves became Music, like an instrument (not pictures drawn from past experience), just sound and it became quite beautiful, you could hear the joy and the anger and the love and sadness, without meaning.  And then compassion grew.  Compassion breeds compassion.  And compassion grew from Hearing this man's life, his experience ... the Art he reveals from how life is seen through his eyes.  That he took the time to create something, to make one smile, to make them cringe, to make them think about things that are not easy to hear, to draw a picture with words of a life that may be difficult for some to imagine, let alone live, to shed light on dark situations, just by speaking of them.  

In this world, we are only as strong as our weakest link; that is what is said.  However, there is NO weakness in what we  are LINKED IN (no it's not a social networking club :o).  The more one can begin to become Aware of what we are Linked In (for lack of a better word because link implies something that can be broken and what you are IN cannot be broken), the more you come from that Space, you will, in a sense, share it in anyway that it appears for you to do so.

So stay a bit longer when words make you feel uncomfortable.  Allow them to momentarily not mean anything at all.  

It is not words that create disharmony; it's one's belief in the words.

The longer you can stay with the un-comfortableness; the more that is revealed.