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Thursday, April 12, 2012

Outside The Box

OUTSIDE THE BOX
~Joysters

So this morning on my walk, there was a thought that some of the things that have been happening in my life are outside the box. You may often here someone say "think outside the box," but do they really mean it or has it just become another thing that is said to someone to shut them up. Like maybe you do think outside the box, however, the minute that you share those thoughts with another...many times you will find your ideas and thoughts rejected and the life sucked out of them and then they sort of just fade away.

Lately, life has been being lived "outside the box." Like it's becoming more of a mystery...as I mentioned I cleared out my home of all the food and alot of stuff that had been accumulating...a sort of simplifying, if you will. And then there was the not speaking for quite a few weeks and fasting a few times for 3 days and 10 days on the Master Cleanse. During this time, it has been like being outside the box and looking in on the boxes that everyone says should be there.

People seem to like to think about things outside of the box but then if they are actually lived...the world/people will come and try to jam you right back into that box because people/society/the world are in a box and they don't want you to be out of it because then they have to see that they are in it and they don't want to see the prison of ideas that they are contained in. What they want is to make everyone just like them. Don't do anything differently because it too scary for the masses...what if everyone just started doing what they want...then what?

Well for me...I don't know :o) I don't know nor do I care what it would be like if everyone lived outside of the box...all I am doing is living it. You have to make the commitment to yourself first and then once that is made...live it.

As an example, about 5 years ago I began an afternoon meditation...that meant everyday, rain or shine, anything that was going on, 7 days a week...that I would be at meditation. Might not sound like such a difficult thing to do, however not only do you have the outside pressures of incringing on people's time but also you have the thoughts running through your own head of "why are you doing this, this is dumb, people are going to be pissed, your missing out on all the fun, your but hurts, your legs hurt, get up get up get up" and then sometimes you get the breaks especially after, well for me the first 2 years were the hardest but now...now after sitting through all of that noise and not getting up, even when the thoughts are screaming there is a snake coming towards you, open your eyes, move and you don't ... well now... now is bliss.

And sometimes it was embarrassing to tell someone that I had to stop whatever I was doing and go sit for 1/2 hour and do nothing. This really annoyed lots of people...it was supposedly an "inconvenience" to them and their life and what they wanted, however inside I figured if a brick had dropped on my head I would be dead for that 1/2 hour anyway so I just pretended I was dead a lot of the time...especially when it was stressful like one time I had told the team mom of our kid's football team that I could help her but at 4:30pm I would have to leave for 1/2 and sit. She was fine with it when she said she was but then when 4:30pm came and we had run into overtime and it was a very exciting part of the game and she needed me to help her with getting things to the boys...I had to remind her of our agreement and I had (not really had but it is a commitment to myself) to walk out on my son's football game (however if brick had dropped I wouldn't have been there either). I came back after meditation to some angry parents and sort of a disbelief that I would walk out on life like that. (That is just one example of many, many examples of the world attempting to push you back in the box.) You may tend to make people and the masses angry...you have to learn to answer to yourself first and then to the world and it has probably been for you, like it was for me...the other way around for so long that you have to unlearn and deprogram and as you do you are reprogrammed from a place of who you are.

So I am not saying that living outside of the box is easy and again ... as you do it people will want to stuff you back in so the commitment to yourself, above all else...must be a real commitment or it will just fall away like all the other times that you have been excited to do something "outside the box" and then let the outside forces strip it away. Now meditation isn't something I do...it is a way of life...it is natural...I don't often have to think "oh it's 4:30" the body seems to know what time it is and it goes and sits. That may sound strange to someone that hasn't done it...hasn't made a commitment to something and suck by it wholeheartedly but it is that way.

As you begin to do these things, you will need less and less permission to follow where life is leading you. It will be scarey at times and hopefully you are lucky like me, and have a Teacher in your life that pulls you in when the tide gets rough. Begin to trust in yourSelf. Begin to know that you are ok and provided for. Begin to step outside of the ideas of who and what you are so that you can actually see and experience life from being who you are.

Well that was good...I'm glad I had this talk with myself, oh and don't be to quick to share your dreams...let them simmer and cook and then start to take action before you tell anyone what you are doing...especially when you are just starting out...you don't want your dreams killed before you even get to enjoy them. :o)

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