("That's My Plan" by Steven Walters)
It is said that
Shakespeare announced that “we are all actors and the world is our stage.” How often do we hear words and they ring true
but we just let them go by without investigation. Do you like the saying? Or does it scare you? If you like it, do you believe it or just
simply take it as an interesting idea?
If it scares you, is it the thought that you are not the one doing it,
that brings up the fear? For if you are
the actor, who wrote the script and where are you going and what will you
do? Ever notice that you can make all
the plans you want to, but rarely does it happen the way you think it will? You go to bed the night before and have all
these plans about how the day will play out and then upon waking none of them happen.
You are not in
control. Life is being lived through
you. You have been assigned a part and
it is being played out beautifully no matter whether you like it or dislike it,
the show goes on. If you don’t believe
this, see if you can stop it. See if you
can stop doing what you do. All things
that point to Truth can be investigated.
You don’t have to take someone’s word for it, all you have to do is see
for yourself.
We are all used to
Serve Life. Your only role is actually
to watch how you are used. Eventually,
as you begin to watch as opposed to “thinking” you are doing it, you will begin
to be surprised by life. It is actually
working for you and everyone. Most
people don’t like the “thought” that they are being used, however, it happens
in spite of one’s likes or dislikes. The
more comfortable you become with it the more enjoyable life becomes. Because that old saying “what you resists
persists” is not just a saying. But as
you begin to become Aware that you are not doing it…it creates a natural
relaxation and then resistance goes down and you get to see what you do. Most people “think” they know what they will
do, they think they know everything that is going to happen and how they will
react to it. But it is not true, you
don’t ever know what you will do until the moment arrives for you to do
it. So many times there has been the
thought that “I” will do something or will not do something and the something
“I” said I wouldn’t do, “I” did and the something “I” said “I” would do…didn’t
happen. Just begin to watch and wait and
see what it is that you do or don’t do, don’t tell a story about it (or even if
you do…don’t believe it so firmly).
We are all just
playing our parts, we can be kind to one another while we do it, kindness comes
from seeing that we are all doing the best that we can, how could we do any
better than what we are doing, if we could, we would, we can only think we can
do better and “better” is the enemy of good, because it is saying that the
moment we are in isn’t good enough. If
there is to be a “better” it will come.
So back to being
used, all things Serve. Sometime we
serve in ways that look helpful and sometimes we serve in ways that don’t look
helpful, but just know that everything helps itSelf, no matter what it looks
like. There are so many examples but
here are three that stick out for me.
One, my son Michael
(Mikel) and I went to Disney World when he was 9, there was a ride there that was
set up like a haunted house and you get in an elevator and it takes you up and
then it drops you and things jump out at you on different floors and it was a
big ride and probably very scary looking for a 9 year old. He didn’t want to go on…he was very scared. As a parent, I was aware that the ride would
not hurt him (unless by some freak event), but I also know that he didn’t know that, I didn’t want him to
become afraid of everything in life (that is what was coming up at the time…to
push him…push him to do and see something that he was scared of, so that he would not be afraid) so I told him
he was going on it and of course he said he wasn’t. I told him I didn’t care if he ended up in
therapy hating me for this…he was going on it (yes that does sound mean, but
sometimes we need a kick in the ass to get past our fears). I literally dragged him on the ride, it was
not pleasant and it was embarrassing too, however something was pushing me to
make sure this happened (there was not thinking about it…there wasn’t a plan
that said if you do this … this will work out…it was just a gut Knowing to do
it…to follow through). We get on the
ride…he is in tears…I tell him I will be with him and I will not let anything
happen to him. He had to trust that I
have his best interest and would not do something to hurt him and so he got on
the ride. And we went down, fast … I was
scared and things jumped out at us and we screamed. But when we got off that ride he turned to me
and said “Mom! Let’s do it again!”
:o) Now it could have ended up a
disaster but it didn’t and it led me to Trust deeper in myself that when my gut
says to do something to do it…not because I know what the outcome will be…it is
a deepening into not knowing and a deepening in Trust that one is led always by
the Self.
Two, my son Tyler (Tman) was/is very athletic and I wanted him to play football because I knew he would
like it. He had played pop-warner when
he was seven or eight and it was probably too soon and it intimidated him and
we quit the team. So when we moved to
Yreka, I wanted him to give it a try again because something inside was saying
it would be good for him that he would like it.
He signed up without much of an argument about it, but then there were
some stories being told about how football was so rough and boys were getting
really hurt (there are those risks) and so Tyler came home one day and said
that he decided he didn’t want to play that he wasn’t going to. I told him no way, we signed up and you give
it two weeks and if after two weeks you hate it, then you can quit. He was not happy about this and gave me quite
a bit of guff about it, even had some parents contact me to tell me it wasn’t
right that I was forcing him to play.
But for whatever reason (actually because it is not up to me) I stuck to
my guns and made him go (just because I say this doesn’t mean it isn’t hard to do…it is hard to stick to something to stand by something, not hard in itself,
but painful when you do not know if you are doing the right thing, you just
have to stand in your own ground and have your fingers crossed (in a sense, in
the beginning) that it will all work out and if it doesn’t it still will). After two weeks…I didn’t hear a word of him
quitting. He loved football, became the
Quarterback and though he took a long pause…finished his senior year on the MMA
Leatherneck Football team!
The third, is a bit
different, because it is not so solid and easy to explain, but it was almost 12
years ago now and I was driving from up here in Etna to Chandler AZ and as I
was driving down the road, it was late at night and I was still a few hours
away, a thought appeared that if I had a ring and I could use it to change
anything I want from happening, would I use it.
Now you have to understand that this came as a very serious internal
question, if it hadn’t it wouldn’t still be with me to this day. I said no I would not use it, that I was
willing for life to be how it is, that I would not want that power.
A few hours later I
arrived where I was living at the time and one of my best friends Ethan met me
and told me that Mark
had died. He had crashed his motorcycle
in front of where we were living and he didn’t survive. Those two things
linked for me for a very long time. His
death and my not changing anything and wondering if I actually could have. Overtime, it has deepened something in me, he
has been closer to me at times, than when he was living, this I cannot
explain. However, I still would not take
the power, even to bring him back physically, because in his death he has
revealed that he is HERE Always. The
ring would have been the boobie prize.
All this to say,
things are the way they are, you can either sit back and enjoy the ride or
panic and be scared that it isn’t going to go the way you want it to, either
way the ride goes on.
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