SILENCE

One of the things that can be rare in this world is being Silent.  It used to be more common, there were longer pauses between words in conversations and the movies of old had less words, more innuendos. 

Though I find in life that I am drawn to things that are of a quieter nature, that doesn’t mean that there is internal quiet.  Many times there is such gratitude that will arise for having designated times for Meditation.  Without Meditation there would be few stops/pauses during the day to put the attention on Silence/Stillness.  It is not that it isn’t always there, it is, however, the attention will be on what is going on in the world, school work, thoughts about everything and anything under the sun.  And then there is a stopping that comes with Meditation, things slow down and the attention is drawn towards what doesn’t move.  The things of the world, all the problems seem to fall to the side and are not important.  As one arises from Meditation, those things re-appear yet don’t have the energy or strong pull towards them that was there prior to Meditation.

Recently, things have gotten busier, especially this week.  Yesterday my neighbor offered to take me for a dirt bike ride.  We left shortly before Meditation time and when we got to the back roads it was the time that I usually sit, so I mentioned that I would not be speaking during the next half hour.  Usually it is looked at with a strange sort of “umm ok?”  Which it was and so off on the bike we went.  There is a gift in Silence that unless one checks it out, cannot be shared. 

A Red-Tailed (Chicken Hawk) Hawk flew directly over us; which was amazing and the trees were brilliant, and the smells of Spring were in the air, there was the sounds of water running from the creek and the sky was brilliantly blue.  There were moments of fear/excitement that would arise from the sense of not having control.  The bike slid on some ice and we fell and since we were going slowly, there are just bruises, but there was no ability to complain and without outward complaining, inward complaining doesn’t last long. 

We dust ourselves off and picked up the bike and sat and ate some lunch.  There was listening to the stories that were shared and watching as the food is eaten and there is a sense of ease with not speaking that is not there when one is thinking of what it is they would be saying.  It is just listening and experiencing what is actually going on.

Though the preference here is to sit Silently (to not be active during a designated Mediation time), one does not have to sit somewhere alone to be Silent, you can set aside a time, at anytime to do it.  Though I would suggest that one set aside the time to sit silently in Meditation as a way to begin quieting the mind and then move into a “walking or active” Meditation, only because the impetus to speak will be very strong in the beginning and so it is best for one to begin to sit quietly with eyes closed and allow all distractions to be there and to sit in spite of the distractions.

Many times when people are around and I am sitting for Meditation they think that they must be quiet, but that is not the case, the noise is welcome, because where the attention is … is Stillness/Silence and so all noises and activity around are welcomed in it.  If you demand that the world be a certain way for you to sit in Meditation, you will not ever sit in Meditation.  You just sit, Silently, sit and watch until the thoughts and activities exhaust themselves.

Ultimately, one will find that all of their life is in Silence/Stillness/Meditation, yet this isn’t seen while the attention is on the thoughts, actions.  So first things first…one leads into the other.

JUST PLAYING MY PART

Bradley Albert Allen Pollard

("That's My Plan" by Steven Walters)

It is said that Shakespeare announced that “we are all actors and the world is our stage.”  How often do we hear words and they ring true but we just let them go by without investigation.  Do you like the saying?  Or does it scare you?  If you like it, do you believe it or just simply take it as an interesting idea?  If it scares you, is it the thought that you are not the one doing it, that brings up the fear?  For if you are the actor, who wrote the script and where are you going and what will you do?  Ever notice that you can make all the plans you want to, but rarely does it happen the way you think it will?  You go to bed the night before and have all these plans about how the day will play out and then upon waking none of them happen.

You are not in control.  Life is being lived through you.  You have been assigned a part and it is being played out beautifully no matter whether you like it or dislike it, the show goes on.  If you don’t believe this, see if you can stop it.  See if you can stop doing what you do.  All things that point to Truth can be investigated.  You don’t have to take someone’s word for it, all you have to do is see for yourself.

We are all used to Serve Life.  Your only role is actually to watch how you are used.  Eventually, as you begin to watch as opposed to “thinking” you are doing it, you will begin to be surprised by life.  It is actually working for you and everyone.  Most people don’t like the “thought” that they are being used, however, it happens in spite of one’s likes or dislikes.  The more comfortable you become with it the more enjoyable life becomes.  Because that old saying “what you resists persists” is not just a saying.  But as you begin to become Aware that you are not doing it…it creates a natural relaxation and then resistance goes down and you get to see what you do.  Most people “think” they know what they will do, they think they know everything that is going to happen and how they will react to it.  But it is not true, you don’t ever know what you will do until the moment arrives for you to do it.  So many times there has been the thought that “I” will do something or will not do something and the something “I” said I wouldn’t do, “I” did and the something “I” said “I” would do…didn’t happen.  Just begin to watch and wait and see what it is that you do or don’t do, don’t tell a story about it (or even if you do…don’t believe it so firmly).

We are all just playing our parts, we can be kind to one another while we do it, kindness comes from seeing that we are all doing the best that we can, how could we do any better than what we are doing, if we could, we would, we can only think we can do better and “better” is the enemy of good, because it is saying that the moment we are in isn’t good enough.  If there is to be a “better” it will come.

So back to being used, all things Serve.  Sometime we serve in ways that look helpful and sometimes we serve in ways that don’t look helpful, but just know that everything helps itSelf, no matter what it looks like.  There are so many examples but here are three that stick out for me.

One, my son Michael (Mikel) and I went to Disney World when he was 9, there was a ride there that was set up like a haunted house and you get in an elevator and it takes you up and then it drops you and things jump out at you on different floors and it was a big ride and probably very scary looking for a 9 year old.  He didn’t want to go on…he was very scared.  As a parent, I was aware that the ride would not hurt him (unless by some freak event), but I also know that he didn’t know that, I didn’t want him to become afraid of everything in life (that is what was coming up at the time…to push him…push him to do and see something that he was scared of, so that he would not be afraid) so I told him he was going on it and of course he said he wasn’t.  I told him I didn’t care if he ended up in therapy hating me for this…he was going on it (yes that does sound mean, but sometimes we need a kick in the ass to get past our fears).  I literally dragged him on the ride, it was not pleasant and it was embarrassing too, however something was pushing me to make sure this happened (there was not thinking about it…there wasn’t a plan that said if you do this … this will work out…it was just a gut Knowing to do it…to follow through).  We get on the ride…he is in tears…I tell him I will be with him and I will not let anything happen to him.  He had to trust that I have his best interest and would not do something to hurt him and so he got on the ride.  And we went down, fast … I was scared and things jumped out at us and we screamed.  But when we got off that ride he turned to me and said “Mom!  Let’s do it again!” :o)  Now it could have ended up a disaster but it didn’t and it led me to Trust deeper in myself that when my gut says to do something to do it…not because I know what the outcome will be…it is a deepening into not knowing and a deepening in Trust that one is led always by the Self.

Two, my son Tyler (Tman) was/is very athletic and I wanted him to play football because I knew he would like it.   He had played pop-warner when he was seven or eight and it was probably too soon and it intimidated him and we quit the team.  So when we moved to Yreka, I wanted him to give it a try again because something inside was saying it would be good for him that he would like it.  He signed up without much of an argument about it, but then there were some stories being told about how football was so rough and boys were getting really hurt (there are those risks) and so Tyler came home one day and said that he decided he didn’t want to play that he wasn’t going to.  I told him no way, we signed up and you give it two weeks and if after two weeks you hate it, then you can quit.  He was not happy about this and gave me quite a bit of guff about it, even had some parents contact me to tell me it wasn’t right that I was forcing him to play.  But for whatever reason (actually because it is not up to me) I stuck to my guns and made him go (just because I say this doesn’t mean it isn’t hard to do…it is hard to stick to something to stand by something, not hard in itself, but painful when you do not know if you are doing the right thing, you just have to stand in your own ground and have your fingers crossed (in a sense, in the beginning) that it will all work out and if it doesn’t it still will).  After two weeks…I didn’t hear a word of him quitting.  He loved football, became the Quarterback and though he took a long pause…finished his senior year on the MMA Leatherneck Football team!

The third, is a bit different, because it is not so solid and easy to explain, but it was almost 12 years ago now and I was driving from up here in Etna to Chandler AZ and as I was driving down the road, it was late at night and I was still a few hours away, a thought appeared that if I had a ring and I could use it to change anything I want from happening, would I use it.  Now you have to understand that this came as a very serious internal question, if it hadn’t it wouldn’t still be with me to this day.  I said no I would not use it, that I was willing for life to be how it is, that I would not want that power.

A few hours later I arrived where I was living at the time and one of my best friends Ethan met me and told me that Mark had died.  He had crashed his motorcycle in front of where we were living and he didn’t survive. Those two things linked for me for a very long time.  His death and my not changing anything and wondering if I actually could have.  Overtime, it has deepened something in me, he has been closer to me at times, than when he was living, this I cannot explain.  However, I still would not take the power, even to bring him back physically, because in his death he has revealed that he is HERE Always.  The ring would have been the boobie prize.

All this to say, things are the way they are, you can either sit back and enjoy the ride or panic and be scared that it isn’t going to go the way you want it to, either way the ride goes on.

FROM THE INSIDE...

You are being called from the inside.  

If you close your eyes and relax the mind, and let go of what you think you know about yourself, you may begin to experience something that has been with you always and will be with you until the end of your days.  It has been calling to you to know it.  

It is a quiet patient calling and it is timeless and endless.  

To answer this call, one only need to begin to quiet themselves.  This is done by just Stopping.  In any moment, like this one right now, just Stop.  Simply Stop.  In this Stopping you will see something that is overlooked in all the “doing” of the world.  It is the Peace that everyone is searching for but cannot find because they seek it “out there” in the world.  All the while it has been and is always Right Here, waiting for you to Stop.  

It can be accepted in any moment you find yourself in…you just simply Stop.  Everything.  In one instant you are Gifted everything that one searches for … for completion in Life.  To realize that one is already complete.  No one can give it to you.  You must be willing to begin to Stop, when things are crazy and spinning around you, just Stop.  Everything.  

Just for a moment Stop and these “Stoppings/Pauses” will become more and more frequent and then you will begin to be the Center of the storm.  Things will come to you because you are focused on Peace,  on what doesn’t Move, in a world of movement.  Because what you are focused on is not in this world, it is what the world is in.

Namaste.

THE NOW MOMENT

The Now Moment is such a simple truthful phrase and often completely missed out on.  How often are you completely aware of the Moment you are In?  Take a look, what is actually going on around you?  Do you find that the thoughts that appear are telling you all the things you have to get done, that you are not doing?  Can you be some other place than where you are?  Let's look honestly.  Are you focused on what is going on around you, in front of you or is the attention on the thoughts about the past or the future?  You can only have thoughts about the past or the future because thoughts are not in the Present Moment.  Even a thought about the Present Moment, is in the past (can you see that?).  

The Present Moment cannot be thought.  To think it...is to not be Aware of it.  To become Aware of it, begin to pay attention to what you are actually doing, not what you think you should be doing.  If you should be doing it, you would be, so don't worry about what you should be doing and pay attention to what you are.

You are in the perfect Moment, Present Moment you can be in (that is why it is the Present/Gift).  If you weren't supposed to be in the moment that you find yourself in, you would be somewhere else (your life is not of your doing...but you cannot see this until you begin to pay attention).  It is not about stopping thoughts, they will still be there, it's refocusing the attention on what is happening, not what is thought about what is happening and not what is thought about what could or could not happen.  This is not something to "think" about (even though you probably will). This is something to be Aware of.  Be Aware of the Life you are In.