Everyone likes the “good” feelings, but the ones that are not so good “feeling” like rejection are quickly moved away from (if not by most than at least it has been the experience here) that when a feeling that isn’t “good” appears there is a moving (in a sense) away from it. But lately the focus has been on “staying a little longer in the un-comfortableness.”
Rejection is one that makes movement away from the un-comfortableness. It seems heart-breaking to be rejected right? Like when the feeling of rejection comes up, it is as if it is a personal attack on the character, that we aren’t good enough or what we are so proud of isn’t good enough, some variation of not good enough. However, rejection also comes to serve as a great gift, if one allows it. Nothing teaches quicker than a broken heart and the deepest teaching comes from not attempting to repair it, but allowing it to be broken. And rejection can be a darn good heart-breaker.
Not fixing a broken heart goes against the grain of conditioning to do that, however the grain of conditioning is one of making a hard shell so that one doesn’t get hurt, where as, allowing the heart break of rejection and disappointment, keeps the heart open and raw. Yes, it is tender and yes it does hurt for some time, but it is alive, it is not hardened in a box and dead, afraid of what might come and attack its fortess.
Rejection also reveals the depth of an attachment to something. The more rejection stings, the more you are able to see that you are holding on to something and that it may not be serving to hold on. Maybe you are holding on to a belief that isn’t serving you, a person or a product a dogma. If you really believe in something, like beyond belief, then rejection has very little power. But if you are doubtful or not sure of something and someone rejects what you come to them with, then it or you will fall apart. But if what you are coming towards one with is fully alive in you, without doubt, without question, than rejection doesn’t mean anything. You are not out to prove anything, you are just being how you are being and bringing that into the world and if it is accepted great and if not that is okay too.
Recently, a rejection made something more obvious, something that has been many times overlooked but rejection allowed for the possibility to see it in another way. There is an example called “Finger Waving” from the Primer. It is when the attention is placed on the object over what the object is in. Let’s use the domain of Truth, if one were attempting to convince another that they are IN Truth and the person hearing it didn’t believe what was being said, and rejected it as a possibility, but the one that was sharing it was not grounded (in a sense) in their Knowing, they may attempt to go on to convince the other that it is true. However, one that Knows that it is True, is not attempting to convince anyone of how things Are, that would be silly :o) They have the attention not on the finger (person or rejection) but on what it all appears IN and in that there is no one to convince of anything or reject or take personal.
It has taken a long, long time for the Knowing of the “finger waving” to appear. For a long time, there were just attempts to understand it and waving it in front of the face and why wont this work, what is being pointed too? However, once you grasp that the finger is in IT and the gaze can be placed upon it in any moment, the world is the finger, the universe is the finger, but the attention can easily, once it is Seen, be placed upon what all that appears IN. It doesn’t mean that rejection still wont hurt, but it is allowed to hurt, or one is willing to be hurt, while the attention is placed on what “hurt” appears IN.
“Be willing to have your heart broken, again and again and again.” ~Wayne Austin