THINKING ...

My Teacher used to say to me “And that’s a thought.”  When I would come to him with all these thoughts that seemed so important and it would stun me momentarily.  Sometimes I would wonder how he could say that to the important information that was going to impact my life and the lives around me and he could be so calm and although he would listen to my plight, he would eventually again point to me and say “And that’s a thought too.”  And he would smile and I would frown and stomp away wondering “what have I done wrong that I don’t see” (not seeing that that was just a thought too). 

He did this for many years, I would come to him again and again with problem after problem and in his infinite patience, he would listen or he would do whatever the moment called for which sometimes was a scolding or a praise, there was not a time, even to this day that I could predict what he would/will do, but that is another of His Great Teachings.  Many times I would go thinking I would get a praising, only to hear I had done something wrong, and then other times thinking I would get the scolding of my life, only to find him praising me for something I had done.  This over time became the blessed teaching of “not knowing.”  

Which leads to the title of today “Thinking.”  Thinking is knowing, even if you don’t know ... you think you can know by thinking.  But thinking is not real…it is not part of reality.  See these words come on the screen by the fingers not by thinking.  This is not always easy for one to see, for like I shared above, I knocked on my Teachers door with question after question and problem after problem, until one day the draw to Stillness became the Answer.  Even in moments now there is “thinking” and there is thinking that there was/is an answer and there is …but the answer is in Stillness/Silence. 

Now that can be even more infuriating to the mind that wishes to know reasons and answers for all things … to hear that they are all answered in Stillness, is to negate the “mind/thoughts.”  Again it all boils down to a frown or a smile, sometimes even a laugh or a punch in the face…depends on how serious one is in knowing answers. 

Since life is just happening and all you get to do is watch it, then living with unanswered questions is actually the gift.  To let things be as they are and watch as them appear is the gift and the answers do come, not in your time or your way, but naturally they appear.  Recently, a Friend of mine said she stays informed on my life through the writings I send her, and I wrote that I was annoyed because how do I stay informed on her life when I don’t receive any writings from her.  Then lo’ and behold, she appears on the street the very next day sharing with me what is going on in her life.  (((Smiles)))

Be willing to be surprised.  I know sometimes it doesn’t seem easy to do … especially since the thoughts usually say you know what is going to happen and it’s not going to be good.  But see how silly it is to think that you know the answer and that the answer “isn’t going to be good” wouldn’t it just be better to wait and see ... if the alternative is shitty anyway :o)

All you have to do is look at that your life has worked out perfectly this far, you are reading this right now and all is well right :o)  Even if you are thinking it is not LOL!

FEAR OF FEAR ...

February 18, 2013

We have been trained to believe that what we “think” and “see” are real.  Not necessarily what we actually see, but what we see on TV or through the Internet.  But how often have you actually seen, what they say happens on TV … in your reality?  You can spend your whole life afraid of things that will not ever happen to you.  All that you are afraid of is a belief that it could happen to you.  But come on … take a look at your life … honestly … you’re alive right now somewhere reading this … didn’t everything work out?  Honestly, hasn’t your life worked out for you, everything has worked out and you are now in the moment you are in, with a whole day ahead of you to be surprised by what shows up.

The fear that arises from what we “think” and what we see on TV or read or hear on the Internet is not really fear.  

It is fear of fear.

Real fear is when something is actually happening.  Like a car is coming at you, that is real fear and the body will more than likely jump out of the way or freeze like a deer in headlights, but that would be an actual “feeling” of fear, experience of “fear.”

Fear of fear, is when you are afraid that something may or may not happen because of something you “think” or from something one-step removed from your realty (i.e., like TV or Internet news/talk).

One of many huge Gifts that has been received from reading the “Autobiography of Mark Twain”, is that he shows (since it was written over 100 years ago) that things do not really change. People are still scared of the same things that happened or were thought of 100 years ago. The newspaper stories from back then are not much different than now, there was still corruption, unemployment, murders, abuses, scandals, wars … everything that is happening now … was happening then … it just looks different because the faces and names have changed. This was/is a huge gift to see … because when one is willing to see to stop and take an honest look, you begin to see that things just happen.  There isn’t actually cause and effect, but life happens and people (you) comment on it.

This is a simple practice to begin to see that the above is so, just begin to watch and see if you could do something any other way than how it is done.  At first, it will seem like you can, that you can make your hand move or your mouth speak but if you are diligent in your watching/Witnessing of life and “you” in it … you will begin to see that action happens and then it is thought about and you will see the hand raise and see the thought as well “I raised my hand” but you will begin to intuitively know that the hand raised a split second before the thought to raise it or saying it was raised actually occur.  You have to want to know this but if you do, you will soon see that you are not the one moving the hand.  When this is seen then you begin to question, “If I am not moving the hand, who is?”  Which leads to the ultimate question, if I am not who I think I am:

“Who am I?”

You will begin to start worrying about it less and watching/Witnessing it more and more.  You begin to wait and see what happens, instead of saying what will happen. Life will reveal itself to you. It always is and has anyway, you just *thought* it was the other way around.

When you are honest … you see that everything has always worked out, this will continually reveal itself to you, as each problem (seeming) arises you will begin to relax more into watching how it resolves itself and you will watch your role in it rather than believing you are the role.

It doesn’t mean that you will or will not like how it works out, but it will work out and not just for you but for everyone.

Turn off the TV and Internet every once in awhile and go outside and breath the fresh air, look up at the sun, check out the stars and put your feet in the grass, the soil or the ocean.  You can take a break from all the drama of the world. It will still be there when you want it, when you want to be afraid or scare yourself, turn it back on or find that friend that always has all the bad news to give you. :o)

However, if you are starting to see the cracks in the stories of how bad it all is, then go out and look at the day and smile at it. It’s all for you.

ANGER ...

All anger stems from things not going the way you “think” you want them too.  It is very simple to see when you are not “angry.”  But like the definition above, if you have been offended, believed to be wronged, or denied something you want, sometimes it will lead to retaliation.  However, anger is a gift that one can use to begin to know theirSelf.  When you are angry, it can be quite a challenge to see that the only reason you are angry is because you cannot control or manipulate the situation to reflect what you want it to be.  But you can right now begin to use anger as the gift of recognizing that you are not in control, but something, that is not a something...IS.

When it arises here it starts as things do not go as “planned” like this morning there was an intention to get immediately to work on the Tidbit after Meditation but that didn’t happen because the website wasn’t loading and then there was an error on adobe flash player and then a mistake made in correcting it that deleted the object.  So there was this feeling in the pit of the stomach that starts to grow, it is coming up right now because my dog Pete is licking his paw, now you would think that wouldn’t bring up anger, but for some reason it does.  I want to make him stop doing that.  So this feeling again arises in the pit of my stomach, but I know to watch it and not react.  But the feeling does not “feel good.”  I want both the licking and the feeling to go away.  But I know that the true gift comes in not trying to change any of it.  To experience the sensation that is called “anger.”

What it actually is and the true gift that comes to be seen, is that one does not like to not have control and anger comes as a gift to show that you do not have control.  You cannot control other people, you cannot control what is happening around you and you in all truth, have no control over yourself.  As you begin to sit with anger, let it come up and just pay attention to it.  Let the stomach be uncomfortable.  Let the annoyance be there.  You may react or you may not, but start watching whether you do react or whether you sit with it.  Let it rise…sometimes it will grow to a great height (depending on how much you want control). 

If you are wise, you will begin to let go of the “wanting” to have control, because that is what anger is … a “wanting” for things to be some other way than what they are.  But can you see how futile that is, if thing are just the way they are, then what is the point of getting angry.  The point LOL and maybe one shouldn’t give all the gifts away, but the point, ultimately, is to begin to show you that you are not doing it, you have not ever done anything in your entire life (not the “you” that you think you are).  The REAL “YOU” has been living life and revealing life to you and you have identified with the thought about what is revealed as “you.”  But you are not a thought, nor are you an emotion, but thoughts and emotions can begin to point you towards who you TRULY Are.

When you honestly see that you do not have control, and that anger is a gift that comes to reveal to you that you are not in control.  Then you may begin to relax into what IS in control, and just see how it will all play out…right in front of you, as it always has, but now you will be aware of it in a diferent way.  Not from trying to make things happen or thinking that you make things happen, but from actually watching what happens.  Like at the movies when you are engrossed in the movie, you sometimes want to tell the movie to do something you think will be best for all involved in the movie, but the movie has already been written so your wants don’t change it, such is the movie of LIFE in front of your eyes as you read this.  It is already written and you are watching it played out.  You can pass the popcorn as you watch it, you can talk about what a great movie it is or isn’t (but please keep it down a notch so others can hear and see it too), but you cannot change it.  You can get angry at the movie for not doing what you want it to, or being too long or not long enough, but the show must go on, because it is already written and anger can be seen as futile or it can be felt as real, as if you were on a ride that is interactive (which it is) but having an interactive ride still doesn’t give you control.  Like when Madden put the interactive joystick on the football game…it gave you a bit more feeling of being in the game…such is the body…it gives you a feeling of being in the game, but just like with Madden Football, you are not in the game, because you are not the body/joystick, you are watching it, watching the playing out the part that has already been programed into the game and so all you get to do really, is watch and feel like you are playing.

So anger, use it as a gift to see “Who” is using the "you" you think you are ... to play the game.

THE 13TH FLOOR:  The following trailer is from a movie that is a fun pointer (not actual) to what was shared above.  It has a lot of holes, but it makes one open to many possibilities of the way things can be seen.  It's worth watching the movie if you like the trailer.

"I" Will Survive...Not.

Most people believe that they will survive death, not all, but most.  This is because they have identified who they are with the body and ultimately with the thought "I" or the personality, which was only created during the time you have been in the world accumulating the knowledge of who and what you are, by your tastes and traits and upbringing.

This short little video says it all.  This is the "I" thought shouting out at the world that it will survive, hence the creation of a "heaven" where all the personalities that can't seem to get along in the world will some how miraculously get along in some other place after the body dies.  But this is a lie that only those that would like to think that they don't have to die, believe in.

There actually is a Heaven, but you don't get to go there, you are already in IT.  But that is a big leap.  

In this world, what is born in this world, does not leave this world and that includes the body and the personality or "I" thought.

So sing and dance and play and laugh until that ball comes falling from the sky which will discontinue the "you" in this world.  You can also begin to take the time to focus the attention on what wasn't born into this world, and doesn't die when the world ends, because the world is in IT, just like "you."