HEY JEALOUSY

"Hey Jealousy"
March 12, 2013

(click image for song "Hey Jealousy")

Wiki says:  "Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust."

Recently the word "jealousy" has been appearing along with the thoughts to write something about it, so that maybe something could be seen.  In the picture above with the eggs, there is a look on the one eggs face that may imply that it is mad that the other two eggs are together, or maybe it is upset that they are resting and it is not, or that they look content and it is not.  The underlying thing of jealousy is that someone or something has what you don't and that you want it.

The quickest way to see jealousy without having to change it, is to see that there has to be a story about "you" to have the emotion labeled "jealousy" without the "you" story … jealousy is just an emotion that is labeled.    And to take it a step further, emotions are just energy; like a wave that rises and falls (one doesn't try to change a wave, but many try to change emotions, instead of just letting them be until they subside).
So jealousy can be great tool for watching emotions rise and fall without doing anything about them.  To just have them.  And it can be a great tool in the seeing that there is no "you" to be jealous, for when the depth of this realization comes, you will laugh that you were always and only jealous of your own self. That might be a big jump but let's look, if you find that there is no "you (no individual you)" then you begin to realize at the same time, that it is the same for everyone and that the "sameness" that annimates the appearance of "you" is the "same" in everyone.  In this seeing, or just Knowing, you don't have to see it, because in the world it appears as if we are all different and separate, but that is only because the attention is on the "world" and not what the world appears "IN."  That doesn't mean that you might not still feel the emotion as real, but you will know who you are jealous of; and in That Recognition once again rest in yourSelf.

Jealousy usually appears when there is either a fear of loss, that something you have or want will go to someone else, and it also appears when one does not feel adequate enough to retain what one has.   So the goal of this writing, if there is one, is to help the reader begin to use jealousy, when it arises, as a way to bring the attention back to theirSelf, instead of projecting it outwards.  You can use any example of jealousy. I just had one the other day and it was with my own child.  We both took a motorcycle class, we both drove bikes for two days, we were tested on our riding abilities and on our studies.  He passed both tests with flying colors and rave reviews from the instructor. I on the other hand did not pass the written test and just barely passed the driving.  He was thrilled, as was I for him, and yet at the same time, the feelings arose of not being good enough, that my son was better than me, that I was not good at anything in life, that I was a failure (Now you can look at all those sentences and see that if you remove the word "I/me" then all that are there are thoughts and feelings, but with no one to place them on they would just rise and fall, but with an "I" they stay around because they have someone/something to stick too.)  The more one can begin to see the "I" thought as an illusion, the less energy and intensity emotions have.  The gift in this jealousy arising was the opportunity to once again see that it takes an "I/me" to keep it alive and without it, life just happens and moves on.  It only stays (the emotion) if it is kept fed with the "I/me" thoughts.

This might be challenging to point to, but with no separation, with no "I/me" in either the form of my son or myself, there is just one thing going on ... in seemingly two forms, one getting a license and one not getting a license but that doesn't separate Self from Self.  Just like the one writing this and you reading this are in the same Self, that doesn't change that the writer writes this and the reader reads it, even though it is only One receiver/giver, appearing as more than one, yet only one and even less than one.  It is quite challenging to point to the simplicity of "Less than One."  And one might say, well who are you pointing this out too ... if there is only one...less than one ... myself :o)

So self :o)  When jealousy arises the next time and it will cause this is the training ground for remembering who you Are.  When it arises, possibly begin to see that it takes an "I" to be jealous and so you could begin by asking "Who am I" that is jealous.  You also could look at what you are afraid of losing and why you must hold on to it so tightly, if it is trying to get away and you could offer it release from your grasp.  (Which includes beliefs about yourself ... like the example above ... the willingness to let go of the belief in the "I/me" thought, drops all the beliefs and who would want to hold on to beliefs like the ones above?)

You could also look at the "other" that you are jealous of and KNOW without understanding...that it is yourSELF in another form that is receiving it, and therefore, what would you keep from yourSelf?  This may not ease your discomfort but if you are coming from the space of WHO YOU ARE then it will, but if you are coming from the space of "who you think you are" then it can be quite challenging to see and let go.  So begin to place the attention on "who you are" by discovering who you are.  When you hear the words "I/me" begin to allow the possiblity that it is a lie and all thoughts that attach to it are also lies.

KANDO

"Kando"
November 29, 2013

"There is nothing you
Kando
about the way things are
but sit back and 
wait and see 
how you will be
a part 
of the unfoldment
of the things
that you will want to see
when you stop
trying what you kando
and just simply …
Be."

PRAYER & STILLNESS

(I AM is not a thought)

The following is in response to a question raised in Western Religion Philosophy Class at College of the Siskiyous.  Weed, CA.

Prayer

“Prayer has been an essential part of Christianity since its earliest days. Prayer is an integral element of the Christian faith and permeates all forms of Christian worship. Prayer in Christianity is the tradition of communicating with God, either in God's fullness or as one of the persons of the Trinity.”  (Wikipedia, 2013.)

Ultimately, there is nothing wrong with Prayer, though at it’s premise in the way most seem to use it, perpetuates two lies; one that there is something that the one praying is separate from and two, that things can be some other way than how they are.  They are both actually the same thing.

Prayer is actually saying that the one that is being prayed to … isn’t doing a good enough job and could do better.  It would be just as wise to begin to accept things how they are and the possibility (the very real possibility) that you don’t know how things are supposed to be.  Then you begin to grow out Faith (which does not require any prayer) that everything is perfect and unfolding perfectly and always has, even though you may not understand why or how it is unfolding.  If you still require “prayer” then possibly one might pray to begin to know this … to begin to have Faith that this is so.

Things cannot be any other way than how they are, if they could they would be.  That seems pretty easy to see (as long as you are willing to stop telling a story of how things should be and just begin to experience them exactly as they are).  If something is going to be some other way, just watch … it will … things are constantly shifting and changing and if one begins to stop listening to the thoughts about how things should be and begins to pay attention to how they are … the mind begins to become quieter and quieter.

“Vygotsky theorized that very young children don’t think silently to themselves the way adults do — at first they only “think” by speaking out loud to their parents, siblings, or caregivers. Later, this develops into “self-talk” (if you’ve ever been around young children you may have noticed them mumbling to themselves when they’re alone in their rooms). Later still, self-talk internalizes, and becomes inner speech (what adults experience as thinking — or at least one type of thinking).” (Moyer. 2013)

This is what is being pointed to.  You weren’t born thinking.  You were born in Stillness and came into a world of noise “thinking.”  You “learned” to “think” prior to thinking/thoughts there was only the natural state of simply “Being” Aware of everything in Stillness.  This is how it is right now, begin to stop paying attention to the thoughts and begin paying attention to the Stillness.

On Stillness

“The Jesus Prayer or “The Prayer” has been widely taught and discussed throughout the history of the Eastern Churches. It is often repeated continually as a part of personal ascetic practice, its use being an integral part of the eremitic tradition of prayer known as Hesychasm meaning "to keep stillness"). (Wikipedia. 2013.)

Not surprisingly, this Prayer is popular in the East, but not in the West.  The East has been immersed for thousands of years in the practice of placing the attention on Stillness, not the thoughts.  Thoughts are given a great deal of importance in the West, because it is what most identify with as “who they are” as part of or sometimes the entire identity/personality, however, if this is really honestly looked at.  How can one “be” a thought? 

When one becomes ready to let go of the thought “I” … Stillness (in a sense, rushes in and fills all of everything) then there is no room for the thought “I” there is only Stillness … just like when you were a child and you didn’t “think” to exist … you just existed in Stillness.  That is where one returns (though has not ever left), they release the thought “I” back into the Stillness from which it appeared.  No “I,” no problems (who would have them), no prayer needed in Stillness, one would not be still to pray for something.

This does not mean that the world stops, you just begin to experience it from a place of Eternal Stillness.  The mouth will still move (for some) the body will as well, there will look like there are problems but there will not be anyone there for the problem, there will just be a watching of all of the movie playing out, which also includes people praying for things in the movie. 

Another way of seeing this is like going to a movie, you sit there in Silence (which is not Stillness but it is a close in the world pointer).  Sometimes you have a “thought” that you would like the movie to go some other way than how it is going.  However, you cannot change the movie just because you *think* it should be some other way.  Most people should be able to see this analogy.  This is how it is with life and prayer … life/the movie is playing out for your entertainment (feel free to ask “who’s”) and “prayer” is like the “thought” in the movie theater … it doesn’t hurt anything to have it but it doesn’t change a dang thing either.  :o)

Cited

Wikipedia, (2013). Prayer.  Retrieved from:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prayer,_meditation_and_contemplation_in_Christianity

Wikipedia, (2013). The Jesus Prayer.  Retrieved from: 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Prayer

Moyer, J.D. (2011) Sytems for Living Well. “Why I Pray as an Atheist.”  Retrieved from:

http://jdmoyer.com/2011/07/25/why-as-an-atheist-i-pray/

SAME SELF

(Q&A from a Philosophy Class at College of the Siskiyous)

1. With billions of people on this planet, so many different selves, how could it be possible that they are all one self?

First one has to let go of all apparent "others," including who they think they are.  When that is dissolved, then what remains?  How do you express to one that thinks they exist, that without the personality, there is no one there, that there is actual emptiness there and only emptiness there and yet the word emptiness has to be dissolved also, because emptiness is also a lie, just like the personality is.  If you tell someone that they are no-thing at all, they will still go looking for something, because they think they are something … it is nearly a futile work, to attempt to share with another that there is only one, because even saying one "implies that there are more than one, so it is actually less than Zero.  Zero, no-thing is aware.  It is what is looking out of your eyes.  It is silent and still, it does not move and yet it sees everything.  It has been and is aware of you, it is closer than your own breath and it moves and animates you, you who are reading this, are just a thought that appears in front of the Self.  Who wants to hear that they have misidentified themselves as a thought?  Well apparently you do, or you wouldn't be reading this.

2.  What makes a Self?

Nothing, no-thing, makes a Self.  You are in Self, Self IS, it cannot be made from things in this world.  Self just IS and the mind, you that are reading this, think in terms of time and so you cannot understand something that has no beginning and no end.  Yet that is how it is with Self, no beginning, no end, no time, nothing to attach to.  As you relax and let go of understanding, you will know this, not from understanding but from Knowing.  This is guaranteed but you can not use the mind to verify it, the mind will begin to assist you in not using it, once you realize that you can't in this domain, but this does take quite a bit of willingness to stop trying to figure everything out and sit back, smile and enjoy the ride.  Your help is not needed here that is the good news.  Less help = more Awareness.  :o)  Though if you insist on helping then sit quietly whenever possible, give yourself time to sit without moving, fixing, doing and ask the question, "Who am I?" and sit and wait as the thoughts tell you who you are, and do not accept them as true or false, just let them come and watch them go, that is a good practice/help for the mind.

3. Do the characteristics that distinguish one self from another come from the self, or from beyond the self?

"All is the Self."  There are not two, there is only one thing going on, one movement that appears as if it is many movements, but that is only because you are not aware of the screen that the movement appears on.  Take a digital picture and then zoom in and in, you will see it becomes more and more pixelated until you get to nothing, no-thing at all.  When you can no longer visually see or understand what you are looking at, then draw back out you begin to see all the little squares pull back together to make an image before you that you recognize, but they are not separate they are all one thing in the picture, one picture that appears separated by edges and color that blur as you zoom in, it is not different than the world, universe, body, which will become more apparent with 3-D animation.  This is not said to lessen life or the beauty and the magic of it's creation.  The wise will pay the attention to the "no-thing" that you are, do not waste the time trying to figure out how the world is not real, spend the time investigating who you are.  Spend the time asking the question, "Who am I?" for the real Gift of Seeing.

4. Is the self without restrictions still self, or would it not better be called God? 

Restrictions are for this world there is no restriction that can be placed upon the Self because the self is not in this world; the world is in it.  If there is to be restriction, there will be.  There is no need to worry or concern oneself with how things will be in this world, if you know you are always in the perfect moment, because you are.  So one just begins to see that, beyond what the mind/thoughts say, if you can look around and see that you have everything that you need to be in the moment you are in, then you can stop lying to yourself about how things have to change for you to be happy or whatever it is that you think you want to be different. 

 

JUST PLAYIN' - THE PART

January 30, 2013

It is said that Shakespeare announced that “we are all actors and the world is our stage.”  How often to we hear words and they ring true but we just let them go by without investigation.  Do you like the saying?  Or does it scare you?  If you like it, do you believe it or just simply take it as an interesting idea?  If it scares you, is it the thought that you are not the one doing it, that brings up the fear?  For if you are the actor, who wrote the script and where are you going and what will you do?  Ever notice that you can make all the plans you want to, but rarely does it happen the way you think it will?  You go to bed the night before and have all these plans about how the day will play out and then upon waking none of them happen.

You are not in control.

Life is being lived through you.  You have been assigned a part and it is being played out beautifully no matter whether you like it or dislike it, the show goes on.  If you don’t believe this, see if you can stop it.  See if you can stop doing what you do.  All things that point to Truth can be investigated.  You don’t have to take someone’s word for it, all you have to do is see for yourself.

We are all used to Serve Life.  Your only role is actually to watch/Witness how you are used. 

Eventually, as you begin to watch/Witness as opposed to “thinking” you are doing it, you will begin to be surprised by life.  It is actually working for you and everyone. 

Most people don’t like the “thought” that they are being used, however, it happens in spite of one’s likes or dislikes. 

The more comfortable you become with it the more enjoyable life becomes.  Because that old saying “what you resists persists” is not just a saying.  As you begin to become Aware that you are not doing it … it creates a natural relaxation and then resistance goes down and you get to see what is done. 

Most people “think” they know what they will do, they think they know everything that is going to happen and how they will react to it.  But it is not true, you don’t ever know what you will do until the moment arrives for you to do it.  So many times there has been the thought that “I” will do something or will not do something and the something “I” said I wouldn’t do, “I” did and the something “I” said “I” would do … didn’t happen. 

Just begin to watch and wait and see what it is that you do or don’t do, don’t tell a story about it (or even if you do … don’t believe it so firmly).

We are all just playing our parts, we can be kind to one another while we do it, kindness comes from seeing that we are all doing the best that we can, how could we do any better than what we are doing, if we could, we would, we can only think we can do better and “better” is the enemy of good, because it is saying that the moment we are in isn’t good enough.  If there is to be a “better” it will come.

So back to being used, all things Serve.  Sometimes we serve in ways that look helpful and sometimes we serve in ways that don’t look helpful, but just know that everything helps itSelf, no matter what it looks like.  

THE D.I.

On Having a Drill Instructor as a Teacher . . .

The “ego” loves to be pandered to and adored.  There is nothing wrong with this … everything has it’s time and place.  However, everyone could use a Drill Instructor from time to time (or constantly) because in a sense The D.I. is the “ego” (who we *think* we are in this world)’s worst nightmare and the “True Self” (that which cannot be thought)’s best Friend.  The reason The D.I. is not “your” friend is because you cannot predict what The D.I. will do and The D.I. is the Best Friend to the Self because the DI can predict what you do in a flash, in fact, usually The D.I. sees what you will do ten moves ahead of where you are at. 

The D.I.'s job is to break you of who you think you are.  You may want to fight The D.I. but you know even when you do it, you don’t really want to win.  You want to lose yourself and yet at the same time are afraid of the unknown.  Who you *think* you are is like a “woobie” blanket that you had as a child … it couldn’t really protect you from anything but it sure felt like it could.  That is what the “ego/who you *think* you are” is … it is a blanket/skin that is wrapped around “Nothing” to make it seem like you are protected from something, but even the *something* that one thinks they are protected from … is in Nothing.  Not “nothing” like blank … Nothing like “No Thing.”  This means that in a sense there is something there but it is nothing that you can use the senses for to understand.  The “ego/ who you *think* you are” attempts to understand everything, yet it is The D.I.'s job to remove what you have come to understand and leave you empty(ier) of who you think you are.

You hear people all the time say … I am a smoker … I am a drinker … I am a vegetarian … I am a meat eater … I am a man … I am a woman … I am an alcoholic … I am a drug addict … I am a home maker … I am white … I am black … I am Native American … I am Indian … I am Chinese … I am Christian … I am buddhist … I am atheist … I am a husband … I am a wife … I am a sister … I am a brother … I am a department store clerk … I am a musician … I am a writer … I am a poet … I am an astronaut … I am an inventor … I am human … I am (insert name here).  Yet you … the True You … are none of those things.  All of that is Secondary to who you Truly Are.

This one is lucky it actually has a Drill Sergeant as a Teacher.  Not Lucky for “me” just Lucky.  This doesn’t mean that everyone should go join the Military … though it’s a start. 

When the Student is Ready … the Teacher will appear.  How will you know the Teacher has appeared … the Teacher will not pander to you.  You won’t always get what you want but you will get exactly what you need.

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