February 11, 2013
This morning during
Meditation the topic came up to write about suicide. This is not an easy topic to talk about, well
it is easy to talk about but maybe it is not so easy to hear, we shall see. Today is the anniversary of my significant
other, of nine years, Mark’s
death. It is not surprising that this
would be a topic of discussion, but it is surprising in that it showed up.
All “suicide” stems from one
thing. Suicide stems from the belief in
the “I” thought. Without an “I” there is
no one that would commit suicide. Don’t
get me wrong, it’s not that “I” don’t know how powerful thoughts can be. Have attempted suicide on a few occasions and
do know how dark it can get and how strong a belief can become. So this is not about belittling the power of
the mind. Instead let’s shed some LIGHT
on it.
Let’s take this slowly if we
can.
Thoughts of suicide appear
when one is paying attention to thoughts and not who they ARE. You are not a thought, if you were, you
couldn’t pay attention to it … you would be it.
So when someone attempts suicide it is because they have placed all the
attention on a “thought” and in turn created it into a belief and then believe
the “belief” is true. It is always
something about a past or future that cannot be changed but is not let go
of. The person imagines something about
themselves and/or the circumstance they “think” they are in and see no way out,
but how could one, you have to be alive to see it. Suicide wouldn’t exist if everyone would just
wait to see what happens, instead of just assuming they know what will happen.
Let’s look at an example of
how a “thought” becomes a “belief.”
Let’s use warts (heh) as an example.
If you have ever had a Plantar’s Wart, you know
that it starts out small (like a thought) and then over time it gets harder
(like when you keep paying attention to a thought) and then eventually it is so
hard that you have to get it cut out or nitrogen to remove it (a belief becomes
solidly believed and suicide seems the only option).
So if you can see this … if
you can see the thought become solid and believed in, then you also can see
that the undoing of the belief is the undoing of Suicide.
One does not have to kill
the “I” thought or any thought and killing the body will not kill the “I”
thought, because the “I” thought is not the body.
How sucky will it be if you
kill the body (thinking it is you) only to come to find out that you weren’t
the body and now you are without a body but still *think* you exist. There is a good book on this, it is not the
Truth, but it is a good pointer and can be helpful in seeing things from a
different perspective. It is called “Stephen
Lives.”
It writing is not about
killing the “I” thought, it is about beginning to see that it is not real.
Only you can stop paying
attention to the thoughts, the quickest way to begin doing this is to look and
see who is watching the thoughts.
You can’t be the thought if
you are watching the thought, so who is watching?
This will take some practice
because you have been watching the thoughts for so long, you believe them to be
true.
Look how strong beliefs are;
if we didn’t have them, there would be no war, there would be nothing to fight
over, if you didn’t believe there was something to fight over. And how do you begin to see that there is
nothing to fight over, by beginning to STOP and take a look, honest look around
you and see if anything that you believe or are thinking, is actually
happening, or are you just “thinking” about it.
If you are just “thinking”
about it then it is not real, it is your imagination and you must wait and see
what shows up. Stop assuming you know
what is going to happen, you don’t.
Begin to start waiting to
see what will happen, you might be pleasantly surprised.
If you are having thoughts
about suicide and how awful everything is, you may want to at first, get some
help with the emotional part of it, that can be assisted by certain medications
and am not saying that everyone should be medicated (you actually do not need
it … but it can be helpful in the beginning - just to get you to a place where
you can begin to see that thoughts are not real).
There are benefits to
medication as well as some awful side-effects, so watch yourself, make a plan
not to be on them for very long and do the work. Self-investigate. Do this with the question “Who am I?” and
write down everything that comes up. If
it is something that you can change or alter then it is not who you are, do a
process of elimination until there is nothing left (no beliefs about who you
are, all that is left is who you Are, without beliefs).
Continue to bring
yourself/attention back to the moment you are IN. Not the one you are “thinking” about, the one
right in front of your face.
Please feel free to write privately.
There is also a movie called
“The Bridge” (that is
a link to the full movie) that can be watched online by clicking that link, it
is well done and can offer, again, some insights.
