Tuesday, September 19, 2006

What Do I Know For Myself?

Is Everything Just A Reflection of itSelf?

I was told by my Teacher to do introspection on what I know for myself. To look and see if everything that I think I know...hasn't come from somebody else and that I have taken that information as truth and grown my own branches off of it and now say that I know something.

First, the main question is "Who am I?" and all other questions arise from the lack of investigation of that one question.

I know for myself...from investigation, that "I" "me" is a lie. In contemplation and meditation and in asking the question "Who am I?" there has yet to be an "I" that has revealed itself as something tangible. In all the searching all that has been found are thoughts that say that "I" exists. Where Descartes said "I think therefore I am." What has been revealed here is..."I" is a thought, and thought is not "real/tangible" so "I" do not exist...except as thought.

I am not a body, nor am I a woman, nor am I anything that I can tangibly explain to anyone...not even myself...who asks the questions...Who Am I?

Who is it that has inquired about the "I"?

So I do not know who I am...thoughts continue to come and say "I am this...I am that" and that is where I am but not who I am. I have sat here for years now...flipping back and forth thinking that I understand something and then recognizing that there has been another trapped laid and fallen for.

The quiet deepens here and there is an awareness that there is a pull more and more towards meditation...not for a purpose... just finding myself sitting quietly again for more than what once was and it is not to gain anything or to advance anywhere. It is as if the mind craves the rest.

This is a far as this will go this evening.

Sweet Dreams.

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