RUNNING (To or From Emotions)

The "I" thought (who you think you are) is always running to or from an emotion...because the "I" thought takes one away from the Now moment.  The "I" thought is telling a story about something that has happened in the past and or will happen in the future.  But if you take a moment to look at this...how can one be out of the moment they are in?  It can't really happen...there is no future or past...there is only a story about a "future" or "past."

It seems simple huh and it really is that simple.  However, don't be fooled by the power of the mind...you are already thinking about this instead of just having the "ah ha" that it brings that to be in the Present moment...you cannot think about it...it is the thinking that takes the Awareness off the Present Moment.  

Begin listening when you hear the thought "I."  Just begin to admit that it may not be true.  That you don't need an "I" to exist.  You don't need a story to be who you are...you are always being who you are.  Emotions keep one running after thoughts.  Without a story about what the emotion is...there would only be raw emotion.  But if you start telling a story about emotion...like I feel sad because so so did something to me the other day and I don't like so and so...if you tell the story about sadness then you keep the emotion alive and going...but you could just as well not tell a story about it...feel the emotion and don't call it anything...just raw emotion "feel it" then it just comes like a wave ... rises up ... and fades away.  It is the same with good emotions...like love and happiness...you don't have to tell stories about them either.  Just be it.

You are beginning to see that your thoughts are not important.  They don't do or change anything...they are always in the past because you aren't in the Present Moment if you are thinking about it.  It will become more and more easy to just relax and not understand what all this means.  The less you think about it the more you are in It.

If you find a good story running a line on you...one that you keep wanting to watch...in the middle of it just say to yourself "think..ing"  Take a breath and no that whatever you are thinking about is insignificant...that you have never had an important thought in all your life and that actually you have no idea where thoughts even come from and utimately that you have no idea who you are.  You cannot stop thinking from happening but you can begin to see through thought.  So that your attention is on what doesn't move.  Then the thoughts are just clouds in the sky.  They just drift by.

"I" am not who "I" think I am...and neither are you.

If it can be thought...it is not who you Are.

Spiritual Vitamin for June 6th (You are not who you think you are)

FREESTYLE

So the eyes are closed and the fingers are just pressing on the keys and we will see what comes.  Freesytle...this is the word that showed up to write about and then I googled the word "Freestyle" and this picture was one of the first on the screen and since I grew up loving graffiti and taggers it was perfect :o)

I wasn't thinking of graffiti when I started out...I was actually just thinking that I was wondering what would come out of these fingers if I just started typing...and here we are.  It is empty inside of here right now...very quiet.  Breathing is slow and eyes are closed and tired.  I am waiting for a video to upload to youtube and have had a bit of a challenging day as I am packing and waited till the last minute to put together a Mothers' Day card and that didn't work anyway cause my printer will not connect to my laptop for some reason...very frustrating and so I dropped the card idea nad wrote a poem and video recorded it but then the recorder has this beeping sound in it and the file saved too large and I couldn't get the beep out but I did shrink the file and now it is uploading so that took a bit of patience.  And during all of that this calm/emptiness has just been here all through it...sometime there is not attention paid to what does't call attention to it.  But luckily for some reason this life time has not allowed me to sleep for long and it finds ways to constantly remind this "thought" that I think I am...to look  towards what cannot be thought.  Therein lies Peace.

It used to be that I was dependent on the peace of the world...I was always looking for quiet or searching for a space to be alone in and life did grant those things for periods of time and now noise is welcome too...because the Peace that is in me...isn't dependent on the outside world to do anything.  Everything can be as it is and Peace is there...even in the worst of moments Peace is here.

I've been meaning to get over to the suicide newsgroup.  I was on it years ago many many years ago and met some really great people over there.  Maybe I will let them know that death isn't necessary for Peace...well bodily death isn't necessary...however the death of who you think you are...is necessary for you to begin to have cracks in the thoughts...cracks big enough to Know Peace.

You're cracked enough or you wouldn't be here.

Alone

There is a paradox that runs in life that assists in helping one believe that they are not alone.  The paradox is "other."  That there appears to be someone else besides you "out there."  And that is how this is kept real.  As long as there is someone out there then there is "proof" that there is someone "in here." 

However today on my walk...there was a moment of clarity that everyone is completely alone...because there is only One.  I have misidentified myself with the body and with the external world.  All things are in the Self...including the paradox of "you and I."  Which would make one believe that there are three...Self, you and I ... however...you and I are in Self (and in that there is no "you" and "I" we are the One) and Self is not a thing...not a body, not an idea...it IS greater than what can be imagined because imagination is in It.

So I sat down to write this as an imagined separate self...but it is not me writing it...because I don't know what is going to be typed.  I am just (for lack of a better description) watching this be typed...watching the typing and then watching the thoughts appear about what is being typed and yet I am not the typing or the thoughts...all things bring one back to the question "who am I?" 

I want you to be real so that I don't feel so alone.  But nothing can keep me from this aloneness because I am that alone.  MyTeacher has been saying for years "you are all alone, surrounded by all the help you need."  That is finally getting through...the fear of being alone has kept a search going to find a way to not be alone...however in being alone...Aloneness itSelf...all things come searching for me...just like I have searched and been found...you are searching to be found too and I am a lighthouse in the darkness.  I am what points all things back to itSelf.

So you are Aloneness...as am I.  You are searching and I am found. 

The Game

How about looking at life like a computer game...

The game reveals to you ways to keep the game going like clues that lead you places in the game...keep you entranced and feeling like you are getting somewhere in the game...cause in a way you are...you get to go to the next level if you crack certain challenges...that's what challenges in a computer game do...but they don't really get you anywhere...your still sitting in your chair playing a game as if you have accomplished something...but that is the prize that is overlooked...you win in the game sure...but the Player...You...have not moved nor gained anything that wasn't there before you started playing.

If you've ever played a computer game...you first of all know...that everything that you are going to do in the game has already been set up for you and done...tested by its Creator and signed and sealed...in a sense the game is already over before you start playing and there is nothing you can do about that...but knowing this doesn't make you any better or less for playing...you bought the game to play it.

One of my favorites games for a while was Grand Theft Auto Vice City...good graphics...you can sort of feel like you are driving the car around in the game...good music...so I played for hours...watched my friends and family play and watched them use cheat codes to get all this extra cool stuff that is hidden in the game.... used information that is in the game to "seemingly" get places and win points...and this to me is such a good example of looking at life...cause it is set up to look like our so-called reality and is such a cool pointer as to see that maybe life as we think it is...how real we think it is...really isn't what we think it is...

A way to say this right now...is this body is a Joystick (no pun intend) :o) and You are playing a game but you don't have any real choices...cause it's all already set up...your choices are limited to the game. There aren't any real levels even though in this world it looks like their are...it keeps it entertaining.

Well if I had a point in typing it I am beginning to forget now.

Oh Yes...

You are already Awake and no one can tell you that (even though I just did)...no one can make you believe it (it's beyond belief) You know it...whether you resist, deny or preach It...It IZ.

Signed, sealed and delivered :o)))) 

~Joysters