THOUGHTS

(Click Photo for "Ask YourSelf")

Those thoughts you have that go by all the time, one after another, bringing all kinds of other thoughts and reactions and sensations, have nothing to do with Reality.  This is not something that you can take someone’s word for (although taking someone’s word for it, at first, is a great helping hand in beginning to see for yourself), you must be willing to investigate whether or not, thoughts have anything to do with Reality, or do thoughts appear after the fact.  It is not only possible, but actual, that everything you think, is after what happens, even your arm moving or your eyes reading this, is after the fact of it happening.  The body registers the information and then the brain receives it and thought appears and this is all very instantaneous, yet still behind the action.

Why would you want to begin to see that thoughts have nothing to do with Reality, because then you will begin to see that you are not the thoughts.  This will lead to beginning to ask, if I am not the thoughts, then who am I?  Or “if they are not my thoughts, who’s are they?”  Did you ever wonder where a thought comes from or do you just blindly follow them?  The funny thing is…the blindly following is even before the thought.  Awareness of this, will begin to shed light on a darkened state of mind.  Until someone turns the light on, no one even knows they are in the dark. 

It’s like fish at the bottom of the sea, they do not know they are in the dark, if you went down there and said to them…”hey…fishes…you are in the dark” they might say… “what the hell is dark?” how would you describe it to them?  However, if you took one in your arms and started swimming north, up and up and the dark became lighter and lighter, until the fishes eyes burned and it said “oh…I see…it is so warm, it is beyond warm, it is behind kind, I didn’t know what cold was until now, I don’t know how to explain this, but I know how it feels.”  And then you start to go back down and the fish doesn’t understand why would you bring him back down to the darkness and you explain that the Light would obliterate him because he comes from the dark, but as he now Knows the Light … Knows where all are going and that it is not out or in or north or south or up or down but it is IN everyONE, that the fish can now point to it with others that are in the dark and Lighten their load.

So the fish goes back down to the deep sea and it is not easy to tell those that have not seen something, something which cannot be explained but can be Known and yet he starts and he begins to help move the other fishes that Hear him up slowly into lighter gentler waters and as they move up others move up with them and they all begin to see that what once so dark and scary and unknown, is not that at all.  That they have been in it all along, they only thought they were in the dark.  But the Light was/is always Here.

Thoughts are like Dark waters, you can share with one that they are not in Dark water but only paying attention to Dark water, but the only way for one to See they were in Dark water, is to begin to stop pay attention to the thoughts.  Not trying to stop the thought…just not paying attention to them.  One must begin to pay attention to what is before the thoughts, what thoughts appear In, the space between thoughts…this space right here (       ).

If you are one that is ready to begin to stop paying attention to the thoughts, then get in touch with me. 

  ~Joysters

THINKING ...

My Teacher used to say to me “And that’s a thought.”  When I would come to him with all these thoughts that seemed so important and it would stun me momentarily.  Sometimes I would wonder how he could say that to the important information that was going to impact my life and the lives around me and he could be so calm and although he would listen to my plight, he would eventually again point to me and say “And that’s a thought too.”  And he would smile and I would frown and stomp away wondering “what have I done wrong that I don’t see” (not seeing that that was just a thought too). 

He did this for many years, I would come to him again and again with problem after problem and in his infinite patience, he would listen or he would do whatever the moment called for which sometimes was a scolding or a praise, there was not a time, even to this day that I could predict what he would/will do, but that is another of His Great Teachings.  Many times I would go thinking I would get a praising, only to hear I had done something wrong, and then other times thinking I would get the scolding of my life, only to find him praising me for something I had done.  This over time became the blessed teaching of “not knowing.”  

Which leads to the title of today “Thinking.”  Thinking is knowing, even if you don’t know ... you think you can know by thinking.  But thinking is not real…it is not part of reality.  See these words come on the screen by the fingers not by thinking.  This is not always easy for one to see, for like I shared above, I knocked on my Teachers door with question after question and problem after problem, until one day the draw to Stillness became the Answer.  Even in moments now there is “thinking” and there is thinking that there was/is an answer and there is …but the answer is in Stillness/Silence. 

Now that can be even more infuriating to the mind that wishes to know reasons and answers for all things … to hear that they are all answered in Stillness, is to negate the “mind/thoughts.”  Again it all boils down to a frown or a smile, sometimes even a laugh or a punch in the face…depends on how serious one is in knowing answers. 

Since life is just happening and all you get to do is watch it, then living with unanswered questions is actually the gift.  To let things be as they are and watch as them appear is the gift and the answers do come, not in your time or your way, but naturally they appear.  Recently, a Friend of mine said she stays informed on my life through the writings I send her, and I wrote that I was annoyed because how do I stay informed on her life when I don’t receive any writings from her.  Then lo’ and behold, she appears on the street the very next day sharing with me what is going on in her life.  (((Smiles)))

Be willing to be surprised.  I know sometimes it doesn’t seem easy to do … especially since the thoughts usually say you know what is going to happen and it’s not going to be good.  But see how silly it is to think that you know the answer and that the answer “isn’t going to be good” wouldn’t it just be better to wait and see ... if the alternative is shitty anyway :o)

All you have to do is look at that your life has worked out perfectly this far, you are reading this right now and all is well right :o)  Even if you are thinking it is not LOL!

JUST PLAYING MY PART

Bradley Albert Allen Pollard

("That's My Plan" by Steven Walters)

It is said that Shakespeare announced that “we are all actors and the world is our stage.”  How often do we hear words and they ring true but we just let them go by without investigation.  Do you like the saying?  Or does it scare you?  If you like it, do you believe it or just simply take it as an interesting idea?  If it scares you, is it the thought that you are not the one doing it, that brings up the fear?  For if you are the actor, who wrote the script and where are you going and what will you do?  Ever notice that you can make all the plans you want to, but rarely does it happen the way you think it will?  You go to bed the night before and have all these plans about how the day will play out and then upon waking none of them happen.

You are not in control.  Life is being lived through you.  You have been assigned a part and it is being played out beautifully no matter whether you like it or dislike it, the show goes on.  If you don’t believe this, see if you can stop it.  See if you can stop doing what you do.  All things that point to Truth can be investigated.  You don’t have to take someone’s word for it, all you have to do is see for yourself.

We are all used to Serve Life.  Your only role is actually to watch how you are used.  Eventually, as you begin to watch as opposed to “thinking” you are doing it, you will begin to be surprised by life.  It is actually working for you and everyone.  Most people don’t like the “thought” that they are being used, however, it happens in spite of one’s likes or dislikes.  The more comfortable you become with it the more enjoyable life becomes.  Because that old saying “what you resists persists” is not just a saying.  But as you begin to become Aware that you are not doing it…it creates a natural relaxation and then resistance goes down and you get to see what you do.  Most people “think” they know what they will do, they think they know everything that is going to happen and how they will react to it.  But it is not true, you don’t ever know what you will do until the moment arrives for you to do it.  So many times there has been the thought that “I” will do something or will not do something and the something “I” said I wouldn’t do, “I” did and the something “I” said “I” would do…didn’t happen.  Just begin to watch and wait and see what it is that you do or don’t do, don’t tell a story about it (or even if you do…don’t believe it so firmly).

We are all just playing our parts, we can be kind to one another while we do it, kindness comes from seeing that we are all doing the best that we can, how could we do any better than what we are doing, if we could, we would, we can only think we can do better and “better” is the enemy of good, because it is saying that the moment we are in isn’t good enough.  If there is to be a “better” it will come.

So back to being used, all things Serve.  Sometime we serve in ways that look helpful and sometimes we serve in ways that don’t look helpful, but just know that everything helps itSelf, no matter what it looks like.  There are so many examples but here are three that stick out for me.

One, my son Michael (Mikel) and I went to Disney World when he was 9, there was a ride there that was set up like a haunted house and you get in an elevator and it takes you up and then it drops you and things jump out at you on different floors and it was a big ride and probably very scary looking for a 9 year old.  He didn’t want to go on…he was very scared.  As a parent, I was aware that the ride would not hurt him (unless by some freak event), but I also know that he didn’t know that, I didn’t want him to become afraid of everything in life (that is what was coming up at the time…to push him…push him to do and see something that he was scared of, so that he would not be afraid) so I told him he was going on it and of course he said he wasn’t.  I told him I didn’t care if he ended up in therapy hating me for this…he was going on it (yes that does sound mean, but sometimes we need a kick in the ass to get past our fears).  I literally dragged him on the ride, it was not pleasant and it was embarrassing too, however something was pushing me to make sure this happened (there was not thinking about it…there wasn’t a plan that said if you do this … this will work out…it was just a gut Knowing to do it…to follow through).  We get on the ride…he is in tears…I tell him I will be with him and I will not let anything happen to him.  He had to trust that I have his best interest and would not do something to hurt him and so he got on the ride.  And we went down, fast … I was scared and things jumped out at us and we screamed.  But when we got off that ride he turned to me and said “Mom!  Let’s do it again!” :o)  Now it could have ended up a disaster but it didn’t and it led me to Trust deeper in myself that when my gut says to do something to do it…not because I know what the outcome will be…it is a deepening into not knowing and a deepening in Trust that one is led always by the Self.

Two, my son Tyler (Tman) was/is very athletic and I wanted him to play football because I knew he would like it.   He had played pop-warner when he was seven or eight and it was probably too soon and it intimidated him and we quit the team.  So when we moved to Yreka, I wanted him to give it a try again because something inside was saying it would be good for him that he would like it.  He signed up without much of an argument about it, but then there were some stories being told about how football was so rough and boys were getting really hurt (there are those risks) and so Tyler came home one day and said that he decided he didn’t want to play that he wasn’t going to.  I told him no way, we signed up and you give it two weeks and if after two weeks you hate it, then you can quit.  He was not happy about this and gave me quite a bit of guff about it, even had some parents contact me to tell me it wasn’t right that I was forcing him to play.  But for whatever reason (actually because it is not up to me) I stuck to my guns and made him go (just because I say this doesn’t mean it isn’t hard to do…it is hard to stick to something to stand by something, not hard in itself, but painful when you do not know if you are doing the right thing, you just have to stand in your own ground and have your fingers crossed (in a sense, in the beginning) that it will all work out and if it doesn’t it still will).  After two weeks…I didn’t hear a word of him quitting.  He loved football, became the Quarterback and though he took a long pause…finished his senior year on the MMA Leatherneck Football team!

The third, is a bit different, because it is not so solid and easy to explain, but it was almost 12 years ago now and I was driving from up here in Etna to Chandler AZ and as I was driving down the road, it was late at night and I was still a few hours away, a thought appeared that if I had a ring and I could use it to change anything I want from happening, would I use it.  Now you have to understand that this came as a very serious internal question, if it hadn’t it wouldn’t still be with me to this day.  I said no I would not use it, that I was willing for life to be how it is, that I would not want that power.

A few hours later I arrived where I was living at the time and one of my best friends Ethan met me and told me that Mark had died.  He had crashed his motorcycle in front of where we were living and he didn’t survive. Those two things linked for me for a very long time.  His death and my not changing anything and wondering if I actually could have.  Overtime, it has deepened something in me, he has been closer to me at times, than when he was living, this I cannot explain.  However, I still would not take the power, even to bring him back physically, because in his death he has revealed that he is HERE Always.  The ring would have been the boobie prize.

All this to say, things are the way they are, you can either sit back and enjoy the ride or panic and be scared that it isn’t going to go the way you want it to, either way the ride goes on.

GOD IS FOR GIVING (Forgiving)

You hear a lot about forgiving.  How we should forgive one another, forgive ourselves, search for forgiveness.  There is so much about forgiving that it is often overlooked that forgiving isn’t really forgiving.  True Forgiving/Forgiveness … is not even having anything or anyone to forgive.  Hence the title of the post…God (whatever it is that you think of when you hear that word) is for Giving…maybe that is where the word “forgiving” came from … just Give…if someone thinks they need your forgiveness then just give it…just Give without thinking about it…come from a Giving nature, allow God to Give through you.  You don’t know what you or anyone else needs, but you get to see what is needed when you step out of the way and see.  You don’t even know what Giving is.  Sometimes Giving looks like taking and sometimes taking looks like Giving.  But in spite of the appearances…God is for Giving…it is a Constant of That.  There Only Giving.

One could use the life of Dr. King as an example, his life was in Service to Giving.  Giving a new way of seeing, giving a way of making changes without resorting to violence, giving a voice to those that were not being Heard at the time and for leading a large group of people all in the same direction of giving a Dream of Unity Life and in his Death, he continues to Give by reminding us of His Dream, that we have the ability to get along without violence, without judgments, with the ability to not always understand what we are seeing but the patience to wait and see what comes. 

He said that all are my Brothers (don’t get hung up on gender…Brother has no gender) if one is willing to go to the Core…they will find where “we/Brothers” are all the Same, Genderless, Race-less, Color-less, Religion-less, Body-less, Personality-less.  When you get to that Core any questions of how or why … that you might be having now, will be Answered.  God is For Giving and will Give yourSelf to you…if you are willing and ultimately, even if you are not.  :o)