PROOF

"PROOF"

April 7th

 

In the domain of Truth …

if you go looking for Proof …

you overlook Truth.

There is no proof in the world of the Truth


because the world is in it.


However, as you begin to stop looking for "proof" that this is so,

you no longer carry it as a weight to be discovered


and the dropping of the weight reveals the discovery of the Truth.

Then you will see

that you couldn't search for what you are in.


and the validation of this begins to show up everywhere.

 

"There is no "I" in You."

REJECTION

"REJECTION"

April 6, 2013

Everyone likes the “good” feelings, but the ones that are not so good “feeling” like rejection are quickly moved away from (if not by most than at least it has been the experience here) that when a feeling that isn’t labeled as “good” appears - there is a moving (in a sense) away from it.  

Lately, however, the focus has been on “staying a little longer in the un-comfortableness.”

Rejection is usually something that makes one move away from the un-comfortableness.  It seems heart-breaking to be rejected right?  Like when the feeling of rejection comes up, it is as if it is a personal attack on the character, that we aren’t good enough or what we are so proud of isn’t good enough, some variation of not good enough.  However, rejection also comes to serve as a great gift, if one allows it.  Nothing teaches quicker than a broken heart and the deepest teaching comes not from attempting to repair it, but allowing it to be broken.  And rejection can be a darn good heart-breaker.  

Not fixing a broken heart goes against the grain of conditioning to do that, however the grain of conditioning is one of making a hard shell so that one doesn’t get hurt, where as, allowing the heart break of rejection and disappointment, keeps the heart open and raw - Alive.  Yes, it is tender and yes it does hurt for some time, but it is Alive, it is not hardened in a box and dead, afraid of what might come and attack its fortress.

Rejection also reveals the depth of an attachment to something.  The more rejection stings, the more you are able to see that you are holding on to something and that may not be serving to hold on to.  Maybe you are holding on to a belief that isn’t serving you, a person, a product or a dogma.  

If you are really fully Alive - in Love with something (beyond belief or proof), then rejection has very little power.  But if you are doubtful or not sure of something and someone rejects what you come to them with, then it or you - will fall apart.  

If what you are coming towards one with is fully Alive in you, without doubt, without question, than rejection doesn’t mean anything.  You are not out to prove anything, you are just being how you are being and bringing that into the world and if it is accepted great and if not - that is okay too.

Recently, a rejection made something more obvious, something that has many times been overlooked – however,  rejection allowed for the possibility to see it in another way.  There is an example called “Finger Waving” from a book called “The Primer” by Wayne Austin.  It speaks about when the attention is placed on the object over what the object is in.  Let’s use the domain of Truth, if one were attempting to convince another that they are IN Truth and the person hearing it didn’t believe what was being said, and rejected it as a possibility, but the one that was sharing it was not grounded (in a sense) in their Knowing, they may attempt to go on to convince the other that it is true.  However, one that Knows that it is True, is not attempting to convince anyone of how things Are, that would be silly  They have the attention not on the finger (person or rejection) but on what it all appears IN and in that there is no one to convince of anything or reject or take personal.  

It has taken a long, long time for the Knowing of the “finger waving” to appear.  For a long time, there were just attempts to understand it and waving the finger in front of the face and why wont this work, what is being pointed too?  However, once you grasp that the finger is in IT (where you are pointed) and that the gaze can be placed upon THAT which the finger is in - in any moment; then the world is seen as the finger.  The universe is the finger.  Anything that can be experienced is the finger waving, distracting from what all of that appears IN.  

The attention can easily, once it is Seen, can be trained to be placed upon what all that (finger, world, universe, movement) appears IN.  It doesn’t mean that rejection still wont hurt; but it is allowed to hurt, for one is willing to be hurt, because the attention is placed on what “hurt” appears IN.

“Be willing to have your heart broken, again and again and again.”  

~Wayne Austin

"There is no "I" in You."

DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU THINK.

DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU “THINK”

This can be radical to the way we have been taught to be in the world; to not care about thoughts in a world where what we “think” is given so much importance.  If someone were to come up to you and say “I don’t care what you think” you might become offended as if it is a personal attack and yet … you are not what you “think” and we are going to take a look at how this is possible.

Let’s use the thought “I am wonderful.”  First, do you have any idea where it came from?  If you do not know where it came from then how can you take it personal if someone else doesn’t “care” about it.  You cannot be the thought “I am wonderful” if you didn’t create it, but was only aware of it.  Now, if you can slow down enough to put the attention onto what is “Aware” of the thought “I am wonderful” you can you begin to see something here that you didn’t before.  You can see that if you are Aware of the thought, you cannot actually be the thought.

You may now see that you are not the thought “I am wonderful” and since you aren’t sure where it came from … let’s come from the Awareness of the thought and look at the thought itself “I am wonderful.”  Who is the “I?”  If one is not the thought, but one is Aware of the thought, who is the “I” referring too?

The more this is looked at … the less power the thought “I” has in making you believe that you are what can be thought.  If the thought “I” is seen as false then the word “Who” becomes revealing.  The thought “who?” does not need you to care about it; the thought “I” does.  “Who?” clears the thoughts to the revealing of what is Aware of the thoughts.  “I” creates a sense of an individual and separateness from what is Aware of the thought “I.”  

All thoughts that come can either be clung to by keeping the “I” thought as real or dissipated by replacing “I” with “Who?” which clears all thoughts and leaves only the Awareness of what is actually happening.

For today, do not care about what is thought.  Watch them come and watch them go.  When you see a thought that says “I am so wonderful” question “who” to that “I” not expecting an answer, just as a referencing back onto the thought itself.  “Who is so wonderful?”  “I am.”  “Who am I?”  Let the circle be there, the circle leads one to discover that it cannot be understood; it has to be left alone.  This is where the watching/Witnessing comes in, you simply watch all of the thoughts come and go and if you are believing a thought is real, question it with “who?”  To whom do these thoughts come?  The impetus at first will always be to say “I/me” but you are not a thought “I/me” so use it as another opportunity to drop the thought “I/me” and be empty in “who?”  Eventually, it will apparent and when someone says to you, “I don’t care what you think,” you will agree.  :o)

Namaste.

MEDITATION ...

"God The Organic" by Peter Van Straten

The following is a Q&A from a Humanities class taken at College of the Siskiyous in Weed, CA.

HUMANITIES Question:  Elucidate the link between meditation and spirituality. Why are spiritual disciplines, of which meditation is one, so often deemed necessary for spiritual development? How might meditation affect one’s thinking and sense of self?

In Truth there is no separation between Meditation and Spirituality, however, how it is being worded, or how it seems the question is asked, is as if they are separate. 

To have a link means that something isn’t connected.  However, the practice of Meditation, can reveal that all of life is in Stillness, that there is no separation, that there is only One (“Less than one because even the word one implies two.” ~Wayne Austin.)

The practice of Meditation is useful in quieting the mind enough for it to realize what it is in, and ultimately, to realize that there is no such thing as “mind.” 

If the practice of Meditation is to show up in your life than that is the tool that is used to point that one in the direction of itSelf.  However, Meditation is not the only tool, one can Awaken to theirSelf in any situation, “Truth uses whatever is available to reveal itSelf.” ~Wayne Austin. 

For the one typing this, Meditation was the tool used to place the crack in reality, however, in looking back there were many things, events, like using Mescaline as a teenager before the mind had become too rigid with beliefs, so many things had revealed about the world and how it is not how it appears.

Things that are frowned upon in the mainstream society - for this one were the exact things that came/showed up to open this one.  So if you find that the things that have opened your mind are not things you are able to casually talk about, you are not alone.  There are various different ways it will and can happen if it is supposed to happen.  No one can do anything to make Awakening happen, but what Awakening requires for it to happen, will.

So when one says “Awakening,” that is the same as saying “Spiritual.”  The Spiritual Awakening will happen and there is really nothing to do about it, your reading this is part of it, just like everything that shows up in what you call “your” life is all in the direction of Awakening to the Self.  It doesn’t matter where you are on the planet, what you do for a living (or don’t do) what music you listen to or make or what movies you watch, whether you like sports or don’t, whether you are in jail or a Caribbean island, when it is time for your Awakening, you will Awaken and it will not be like anything you thought.

After the Awakening here, during a quick 15 minute Meditation on a lunch break from work, it was so frightening that all practice of Mediation was stopped for almost 6 years, for fear of what had happened.  The “mind” could not grasp it’s undoing so quickly and what was the most beautiful thing that can possibly be offered was turned and flipped into something that one spent years running from. 

Why would one run from theirSelf?

Because the thoughts about who one is, are so solidly believed in, that the Truth of who they are seems too Big, too Beautiful and too Brilliant to be True.  

So the crack may show up for some and frighten them, some it happens to in Meditation, some in near death experiences, some hanging over a toilet in a drunken stupor, or as a mundane as writing a check, but if you have found that something happened that you cannot explain, but frightened you because you did not understand and didn’t know where to go or who to talk to, then know that Truth is kind, it is ruthless and brutal in its Wake, but it is kind in it’s unfolding and the undoing of what you have thought will begin to happen and those that will help to reveal it to you will show up. 

It’s like an earthquake and then everyone comes to clean up the rubble, except we are not rebuilding a “new” you.  What is cleaned up is removed and you are left with what you have always been.  What was there before you were born, what was there looking out of your eyes when you were a baby and didn’t have an “I” thought and it is what you are right now, before the thoughts “I am.”  It is there and it is not an it and it lives through the mask that is you until the mask drops and is left on the floor (whether that is in life or as you discard the body through death one way or another the mask comes off).

Nothing is wasted, so practice Meditation, but do it knowing that you already are whatever it is that you are attempting to be.  Begin to pay attention to the Stillness that everything appears in, as often as possible, continually be vigilant and redirect the attention back onto Stillness.  As this becomes a way of life, will begin to see that all of Life appears in Meditation.

Namaste.

Emptiness ...

EMPTINESS.

Recently, there was some time spent with a person that exuded emptiness.  When it was mentioned to this person, they did not seem to be aware of it and even seemed slightly intimidated by the mention of it.  Yet it was noticeably there, in that moment, the person was empty of theirself, of thoughts, of noise and activity. 

There was just this strong presence of Still/Emptiness.

This morning during Meditation, this Emptiness was quite apparent during the first few minutes and the thought appeared to write about it and also to see if one could point towards it.  There is a song by Dave Matthews called “The Space Between” and it showed up as a way to point.  The lyrics point towards the Stillness/Emptiness between actions, between words, between thoughts and that is what is hiding waiting for you. 

When the song stops, that is the Emptiness, that moment between sound and no sound, the Emptiness is there between the thoughts, when there is a pause.   The longer the pauses/stop … the more awareness of the Emptiness that one is in. 

Between our words is the Emptiness and yet everything appears in the Emptiness, but it is overlooked because the attention is on the thoughts, the sounds, the activities.

To be one that is Empty; is not dullness, it is not lifeless, it is absolute complete fullness.  No Space that needs to be filled up with noise and activity and yet all appears in it.

Begin to place the attention on the Space between.

SILENCE (MEDITATION)

February 16, 2013

One of the things that can be rare in this world is being Silent.  It used to be more common, there were longer pauses between words in conversations and the movies of old had fewer words, more innuendos. 

Though drawn to things that are of a quieter nature, that doesn’t mean that there is internal quiet.  Many times there is such gratitude that will arise for having designated times for Meditation.  Without Meditation there would be few stops/pauses during the day to put the attention on Silence/Stillness.  It is not that it isn’t always there, it is, however; the attention will be on what is going on in the world, schoolwork, thoughts about everything and anything under the sun.  And then there is a stopping that comes with Meditation, things slow down and the attention is drawn towards what doesn’t move.  The things of the world, all the problems seem to fall to the side and are not important.  As one arises from Meditation, those things re-appear yet don’t have the energy or strong pull towards them that was there prior to Meditation.

Recently, things have gotten busier, especially this week.  Yesterday a neighbor offered up a ride on his dirt bike.  We left shortly before Meditation time and when we got to the back roads it was time to sit.  Mentioned that there would be no speaking during the next half hour.  Usually, it is looked at with a strange sort of “umm ok?”  Which it was and so off on the bike we went.  There is a gift in Silence that unless one checks it out, cannot be shared. 

A Red-Tailed (Chicken Hawk) Hawk flew directly over us; which was amazing and the trees were brilliant, and the smells of Spring were in the air, there was the sounds of water running from the creek and the sky was brilliantly blue.  There were moments of fear/excitement that would arise from the sense of not having control.  The bike slid on some ice and we fell and since we were going slow, there are just bruises, but there was no ability to complain and without outward complaining, inward complaining doesn’t last long.

We dust ourselves off and picked up the bike and sat and ate some lunch.  There was listening to the stories that were shared and watching as the food is eaten and there is a sense of ease with not speaking that is not there when one is thinking of what it is they would be saying.  It is just listening and experiencing what is actually going on.

Though the preference here is to sit Silently (to not be active during a designated Mediation time), one does not have to sit somewhere alone to be Silent, you can set aside a time, at anytime to do it.  Though I would suggest that one set aside the time to sit silently in Meditation as a way to begin quieting the mind and then move into a “walking or active” Meditation, only because the impetus to speak will be very strong in the beginning and so it is best for one to begin to sit quietly with eyes closed and allow all distractions to be there and to sit in spite of the distractions.

Many times when people are around during Meditation time, they think that they must be quiet, but that is not the case, the noise is welcome, because where the attention is … is Stillness/Silence and so all noises and activity around are welcomed in it.  If you demand that the world be a certain way for you to sit in Meditation, you will not ever sit in Meditation. 

You just sit, Silently, sit and watch until the thoughts and activities exhaust themselves.

Ultimately, one will find that all of their life is in Silence/Stillness/Meditation, yet this isn’t seen while the attention is on the thoughts, actions.  So first things first … one leads into the other.

SUICIDE

February 11, 2013

This morning during Meditation the topic came up to write about suicide.  This is not an easy topic to talk about, well it is easy to talk about but maybe it is not so easy to hear, we shall see.  Today is the anniversary of my significant other, of nine years, Mark’s death.  It is not surprising that this would be a topic of discussion, but it is surprising in that it showed up.

All “suicide” stems from one thing.  Suicide stems from the belief in the “I” thought.  Without an “I” there is no one that would commit suicide.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that “I” don’t know how powerful thoughts can be.  Have attempted suicide on a few occasions and do know how dark it can get and how strong a belief can become.  So this is not about belittling the power of the mind.  Instead let’s shed some LIGHT on it. 

Let’s take this slowly if we can. 

Thoughts of suicide appear when one is paying attention to thoughts and not who they ARE.  You are not a thought, if you were, you couldn’t pay attention to it … you would be it.  So when someone attempts suicide it is because they have placed all the attention on a “thought” and in turn created it into a belief and then believe the “belief” is true.  It is always something about a past or future that cannot be changed but is not let go of.  The person imagines something about themselves and/or the circumstance they “think” they are in and see no way out, but how could one, you have to be alive to see it.  Suicide wouldn’t exist if everyone would just wait to see what happens, instead of just assuming they know what will happen.

Let’s look at an example of how a “thought” becomes a “belief.”  Let’s use warts (heh) as an example.  If you have ever had a Plantar’s Wart, you know that it starts out small (like a thought) and then over time it gets harder (like when you keep paying attention to a thought) and then eventually it is so hard that you have to get it cut out or nitrogen to remove it (a belief becomes solidly believed and suicide seems the only option). 

So if you can see this … if you can see the thought become solid and believed in, then you also can see that the undoing of the belief is the undoing of Suicide. 

One does not have to kill the “I” thought or any thought and killing the body will not kill the “I” thought, because the “I” thought is not the body. 

How sucky will it be if you kill the body (thinking it is you) only to come to find out that you weren’t the body and now you are without a body but still *think* you exist.  There is a good book on this, it is not the Truth, but it is a good pointer and can be helpful in seeing things from a different perspective.  It is called “Stephen Lives.”

It writing is not about killing the “I” thought, it is about beginning to see that it is not real. 

Only you can stop paying attention to the thoughts, the quickest way to begin doing this is to look and see who is watching the thoughts. 

You can’t be the thought if you are watching the thought, so who is watching? 

This will take some practice because you have been watching the thoughts for so long, you believe them to be true. 

Look how strong beliefs are; if we didn’t have them, there would be no war, there would be nothing to fight over, if you didn’t believe there was something to fight over.  And how do you begin to see that there is nothing to fight over, by beginning to STOP and take a look, honest look around you and see if anything that you believe or are thinking, is actually happening, or are you just “thinking” about it. 

If you are just “thinking” about it then it is not real, it is your imagination and you must wait and see what shows up.  Stop assuming you know what is going to happen, you don’t. 

Begin to start waiting to see what will happen, you might be pleasantly surprised.

If you are having thoughts about suicide and how awful everything is, you may want to at first, get some help with the emotional part of it, that can be assisted by certain medications and am not saying that everyone should be medicated (you actually do not need it … but it can be helpful in the beginning - just to get you to a place where you can begin to see that thoughts are not real). 

There are benefits to medication as well as some awful side-effects, so watch yourself, make a plan not to be on them for very long and do the work.  Self-investigate.  Do this with the question “Who am I?” and write down everything that comes up.  If it is something that you can change or alter then it is not who you are, do a process of elimination until there is nothing left (no beliefs about who you are, all that is left is who you Are, without beliefs).

Continue to bring yourself/attention back to the moment you are IN.  Not the one you are “thinking” about, the one right in front of your face.

Please feel free to write privately.

There is also a movie called “The Bridge” (that is a link to the full movie) that can be watched online by clicking that link, it is well done and can offer, again, some insights.